Wood versus Metal
by KuryakinGirl
Summary: Sturdy substance beats flimsy flash every time. Written for the Jellie Shippers June Carnival Challenge. Prompt: Roller Coaster. Now updated! Please fasten safety belts... We're in for a bumpy ride.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer—Recognizable characters belong to Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak. No copyright infringement intended. Any similarity to events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Author's Notes—Written for the Jellie_Shippers June "Carnival" Challenge. Prompt: Roller-coaster. I kept picturing "my" favorite coaster while I wrote this... Swamp Fox in Myrtle Beach, SC. If anybody's seen the Kenny Chesney, Anything But Mine video... that'd be the park, that'd be the coaster. :) Thanks to Raevon and Basched! And night_lotus for such a wonderful challenge!

Spoilers—Through the end of Season 3. More UST-y than angsty, but angst is about as close to describing as I think I can get. :-/

Wood versus Metal—Sturdy substance beats flimsy flash every time.

* * *

It had been a group outing. He didn't want to go, but he wasn't forced. He wasn't held at knife- or gunpoint. He wasn't threatened or tortured. He'd gone of his own free will.

But it had taken two very convincing reasons why.

Both were equally tempting, but the two together were overpowering and he'd succumbed to the forces of nature. He couldn't resist the pouty-lipped, sad-eyed looks from the woman he'd always admired and the daughter he barely knew.

Chuck had tried first, to no avail. Morgan had gone next, and he hadn't even bothered to open the door. Devon either, for that matter, as the third round.

But, with the tag team of Ellie and Alex on his doorstep, he'd caved.

The longer the afternoon wore on, however, as the sun began its descent into the ocean, the more he felt increasingly out of place. Everybody paired up and he was left feeling, again, like the team's little fat kid. While he was generally content to stand back, to watch and observe, he didn't need to be there. While it was nice to try to talk to Alex, it was still awkward.

It was even more awkward for him to watch her get along with Morgan so well.

Sarah occasionally sent her partner a warm look, but even if he'd wanted to talk to her, Chuck usually had another great idea for something they should do before he even had a chance to speak.

Then there was Ellie and Devon.

He sighed heavily but it came out like a pained grunt.

And then there was him. Just him.

Ellie's eyes lit up when she saw the entrance to the roller coaster. "How about it?" she asked.

Devon looked up at the wooden lattice structure. It was an older coaster, not nearly as fast, as steep,or as _awesome_ as some of the newer ones. "You wouldn't rather ride that one?" he asked, pointing to the metallic monstrosity clear across the park.

"It goes upside down," Morgan said with a nod.

"Well, you guys know my aversion to roller coasters in general," added Chuck, placing a hand on his stomach.

Sarah looked at her boyfriend with a tender smile.

"Now, if anyone wanted to join me over at the go-karts..." Chuck said, waggling his eyebrows.

"You know I'm always up for another couple laps," Morgan said.

"There's also the free-fall we haven't tried yet," Devon said, glancing at the big tower just to the right of the wooden roller coaster. "Over twenty stories straight up and free falling at over sixty miles straight down. One word for that, my friends... _awesome,_" he said in a sing-song voice.

"You guys have fun with that one," Chuck said, shaking his head.

"What do you say, Alex?" Morgan asked, looking at the newest addition to the group.

"I'm kinda thinking go-karts, too," she said, glancing back at Chuck, who shot her a pair of thumbs up.

"But, it's my favorite," Ellie lamented, looking back at the coaster entrance.

"I'll ride it with you," Casey said.

Ellie turned, looking back at him in stunned silence.

She wasn't the only one who did so. Sarah's eyebrows drifted up her forehead. Devon's were knit together. Chuck and Morgan weren't sure what to make of that, but Alex had smiled at him.

"You want to go or don't you?" Casey asked, walking through the center of the group and towards the stairs that led to the loading platform.

Ellie followed him, grinning broadly as she reached him, linking her arm with his.

Devon still stood there, dumbly watching as his wife wandered off to ride something without him.

"Devon, would you like to ride go-karts with us?" Sarah asked.

"Uh..."

"Last one to the line buys the tickets," Alex announced before taking off.

Morgan and Chuck weren't far behind.

Sarah paused for a moment, still waiting to see if Devon was coming. She watched as he blinked, shook his head, then turned, running towards the go-kart track. She rushed ahead of him.

* * *

It was still warm in the twilight but the breeze was starting to cool. While the line seemed to stretch on forever, she knew it had only been a few minutes.

He could tell she was excited. There was a subtle hop to her step, a light in her eyes, and a flush to her cheeks. "So, where do you want to sit?" he asked, right as the cars rushed down the valley nearest the loading platform.

She knew he'd said something, but between the sound of the ride itself as well as the rocking top-forty music being pumped through the park, she hadn't caught it at all. She looked up at him, grinning. "What?"

He leaned in closer to her. "Where do you want to sit? Front, where we can see everything? Back, where we'll get tossed around? Somewhere in the middle, best of both worlds?"

She shrugged, looking up at him.

"This is your favorite ride. I'm sure you've experienced it from all seats. Which one's best?"

"Well, I've always had to ride it by myself," she admitted. "I've never been brave enough to try the front."

"Guess that settles it, then," he said as they inched forward.

Her excitement became nervousness very quickly. "The front?"

"The very front."

She bit her lower lip. "Are you sure?"

"Aren't you?"

She shrugged again. She was quiet only for a minute before looking up at him again. "What about next to front?"

He shook his head.

"Front of the second car?" she ventured.

"What are you scared of?" he asked.

"I dunno," she said, watching as the cars again zoomed down another hill, listening to the squeals of delight.

They waited in silence for a few more minutes, watching passengers climb off and new ones climb on before continuing their trek forward.

"What would make you feel better?" he asked, deciding on a different tact.

She looked up at him. "Really?"

"If there's something that would make you feel better, now would be the time to tell me."

"Don't put your arms up in the air."

"I'll hold on the whole time," he promised.

She nodded. But one minute later, she was asking again: "Are you sure you don't want to sit one row back?"

"What difference will one row make?" he asked, looking at her, mildly amused. He'd never seen this side of Ellie. The Bartowski-freaking-out-nothing-in-sight-to-clean-or-cook side.

"It won't be the very front."

"I can protect you," he told her.

It was the strangest thing. It was like he saw all the tension ease from her body. He hadn't even realized how much like a tightened rubber band she was until he saw the pressure leave. Her limbs had been rigid before he'd said those four simple words but afterward they hung loosely at her sides. Her jaw had been clenched but it looked more natural, too.

When they finally had to make their choice of where to sit, Ellie casually found Casey's hand.

He'd been surprised, but he realized he shouldn't have been. After all, he'd promised he'd keep her safe. He squeezed her hand gently.

She exhaled, leading their way to the first row line.

He knew it had to be an unconscious thing, that it was just the lingering anxiousness over the ride as her thumb grazed the back of his hand. He'd love to think it was for some other reason, like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. Like it was meant to be. But he didn't let himself have those thoughts. He couldn't.

Instead, he focused on how many more rides they'd have to miss before they'd be able to get the prized first seats. There was a pair of giggly girls, both blonde and tanned and barely tall enough to ride, followed by a freckle-faced teenager who stood alone, his arms crossed over his chest, and then another young couple that seemingly mirrored them. She looked scared. He looked confident.

That hadn't done a very good job of keeping him distracted.

Neither did Ellie backing into him when the cars zoomed past the loading platform again. She looked up at him, blushing. "Sorry," she said, reluctantly releasing his hand as well.

"It's okay," he said, though his voice sounded foreign to him, hollow, different. He didn't want it to be just because she wasn't holding his hand anymore, but he couldn't help but wonder if that had made the change.

After the blonde kids rode and once the teenager had climbed aboard, Ellie looked back at Casey, unable to look forward at the actual ride.

He smiled a little at her, seeing the anticipation fill her eyes again. "You'll be fine."

"You sure you don't want to back out?"

"You don't like any of the adrenaline things with Devon, do you?" he asked.

"Bungee jumping is not for me," she said with a soft laugh, shaking her head.

"How long can the ride last?"

"About a minute, minute and a half."

"A lot shorter than bungee jumping," he reminded her.

"I know."

"And it's your favorite."

She smiled. "I always get wound up before I ride it, though. But, the first row?"

Casey watched as the coaster dipped into the valley again, and the teenage boy was finally appearing to have a good time. "You've got about two minutes until we're going to experience it."

"That's not helping," she said.

Was she _ever_ a Bartowski. He cracked a smile, laughing.

"That's not helping either!"

But he was suddenly closer and the energy shifted from negative and worrisome to one far more electric.

She swallowed hard, looking up at him as he stood right in front of her. "I... John..."

Her hair had been pulled back in a ponytail from the start of the outing, and it was starting to fall after three rounds on the bumper-cars, a couple rides on the tilt-a-whirl, a trip through the haunted house and one voyage on the pirate ship. He reached out, brushing a few stray strands back from her face.

Her breath caught in her throat.

He'd become different since he'd realized he was a father. And that knowledge had taken a little getting used to, probably by all parties, but he was coming around. It made him seem more human, more real. It was a new John, one she liked seeing.

She'd noticed the change in his wardrobe first. The incessant black had been phased out, at least somewhat, including the occasional pale shade. She'd seen richer colors emerge, deep browns and cobalt blues. Even standing there, waiting on the roller coaster, he'd worn a pair of blue jeans, brown sneakers, and a coffee-colored polo shirt. It was much nicer than that Buy More green.

He seemed to stand a little taller, a little prouder.

And of course she knew the secret now.

John Casey wasn't a strange neighbor with African snake weed in his medicine cabinet who had a drinking problem. He was a Colonel in the US Marine Corps. He was an agent of the NSA. He was someone who _could_ protect her.

She'd been so mesmerized by him that she hadn't realized she'd missed the couple in front of them getting on the ride and ultimately getting off again.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

She blinked. "What?"

He nodded towards where the empty seat waited for her.

She inhaled sharply.

For a half-second, she wanted to back out. For a half-second, she wanted to ask the people behind her in line if they wanted to go instead.

But immediately following that half-second, she felt a warm hand on her hip.

Exhaling, Ellie slid in first and Casey eased in beside her. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, as he was a big guy. They worked together to fasten the seat belt, and the safety bar came down with a satisfying clunk.

He smiled a little as he saw Ellie's white-knuckle grip latch onto the safety bar. He'd seen her come at him with a frying pan. The woman was damned near fearless but her undoing seemed to be her "favorite" amusement park ride.

Casey eased his right arm around Ellie's shoulders before resting his left hand lightly atop the bar.

"Wh..." She looked up at him, confused.

"You told me to hold on, didn't you?"

She blinked, but nodded.

As the train cars began their exit from the station, Ellie found herself pressing further against him. He was a mass of muscles, strong and sure. And he'd managed to talk her into this, so she was going to take full advantage of his promise.

Casey held her a little tighter but, as they began their ascent up the first hill, hearing the incessant clicking of the chain beneath them, he wondered what _he'd_ gotten himself into. Her warm body was practically plastered to his side, his arm around her, keeping her there.

And he wouldn't mind keeping her there for more than just a minute and a half.

It was just his luck. Finding someone who was perfect but with circumstances that prevented them from being together. Kathleen had been his first love, true and pure in the way that only teenagers could fall in love. But, the Marines had taken that away from him.

Ilsa had been his first real relationship as an adult. Give and take, a partnership. But, then there'd been the pesky issues of covers and bombings and Russian crime bosses.

And then there was Ellie. The classic "girl next door." He hadn't thought anything of the cliché until he'd found himself living it. The appeal was clear. The opportunities were limitless. The desire was hard to battle.

He'd done a good job of it, he felt, until that night. Until that moment, holding her close, not wanting to let go.

"Ellie..."

She looked over at him. For a moment, she forgot they were on a roller coaster, she forgot they were about to plunge dozens of feet down the first big hill. "John?" His face was different now. There was an openness, a vulnerability that hadn't been there before.

Neither of them got to say anything else because, as they crested the first hill, Ellie couldn't help but scream.

Casey held her steady, even resting his left hand over top of her white-knuckled grip.

The minute was over just as quickly as it had begun, and Casey couldn't help but feel an emptiness, a sadness now that it was gone. The safety bar lifted on its own once they were at the unloading platform, and they worked together to unfasten the belt. Ellie climbed out first but he was right behind her.

She was still laughing. Her cheeks were twinged with pink, her hair even more windblown than before, but she looked so happy. Happier than he'd seen her in a while.

"Oh, John, thank you," she said as they made their way down the stairs of the exit, back towards the park. "That was wonderful."

"I had fun, too," he told her honestly.

"Oh, wait," she said once they reached the tiki-themed shack at the bottom of the stairs.

"What?"

"They took our photo," she said, her eyes scanning the three sets of television screens on the shelf in the top of the booth.

Casey watched as, sure enough, their picture appeared on the top left corner of one of the sets. Ellie was screaming but having fun, he was even smiling. Wordlessly, he pulled out his wallet, checking the prices on the poster hanging below the screens.

Ellie glanced over at him, curious.

"Uh. Package number two," he said, handing over a crisp twenty dollar bill. "Row one."

The pictures were outrageously priced, but it was worth it, he decided. For fifteen dollars, they got two glossy five by sevens. One for him and one for her.

Pocketing his change, he offered Ellie the envelope. "How do we look?"

She pulled the photos out, showing him. They looked... right, she decided. But, she couldn't say that out loud. She wasn't even sure where that thought had come from.

"Not bad," Casey decided.

As they walked into the main thoroughfare of the park, Ellie stopped, though, glancing back at the line. "Y'know, I bet we could get right back on..."

Casey looked at her, amused. "You want to ride again? After almost not wanting to ride at all?"

She bit her lower lip, looking up at him.

For the second time that day, he couldn't deny her.

* * *

Alex sat on the bleachers, watching Devon and Sarah and Chuck ride the go-karts again. Morgan approached cautiously with a bag of pink cotton candy. "Thought you were all for riding." They'd driven one race, gotten off, had gone right back in the line, driven again, and then Morgan had gone for snacks.

Alex had been in the line to join them for a third race but had opted out at the last minute. "I wanted to see something," she said.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" he asked, removing the twist-tie from the spun sugar treat.

She looked over, spotting a tall, dark-haired guy walking with a shorter brunette. He was actually laughing at something. She was talking animatedly, motioning with her hands, holding an envelope. He had a matching one under his arm. "That," she said, a tender smile on her own face.

Morgan followed her gaze, spotting what she was looking at. Casey and Ellie. Together. "Huh."

"Kinda cute, right?"

"I'm not sure I'd ever call anything even remotely connected to your father cute."

She glanced back at him. "You said I was..."

Morgan offered a pained chuckle. "Well, that... that's... very different and... not at all... I mean, Casey's, y'know. Casey's a good guy. Tough guy. He's our big guy. But, him and Ellie? She's got Awesome."

"Who wouldn't even ride her favorite ride with her," Alex pointed out before reaching in and selecting a small tuft of cotton candy before popping it in her mouth.

"Awesome's an adrenaline junky. That's not adrenaline-y enough, I guess."

"Sometimes it's not the adrenaline, though," she said, licking the sticky residue off her fingers. "Sometimes, it's the anticipation a girl needs."

* * *

They stopped on the other side of the fenced-in go-kart track, hidden in the shadows behind the ticket booth. Ellie looked up at him, more serious than she'd been all night.

"What is it?" Casey asked.

"Why'd you come with us?"

"Here?"

She nodded.

He shrugged.

"John... Chuck tried, Morgan tried, Devon tried..."

He took a slow breath. "Ellie..."

"There had to be a reason."

Casey seemed to fidget for a moment, pulling a cigar out of his pocket, along with a book of matches. "You mind?"

She shook her head.

He lit his cigar, inhaling deeply. "Truth is," he began, "you and Alex are hard to resist," he said, his voice low.

"Not just Alex..."

"Not just Alex," he confirmed.

"John," she whispered. It wasn't so much shock. She'd realized that there had been _something_ when they'd gone up the first hill. It was the realization that, even after she'd hit him, even after she'd come to learn the truth, that he still felt that way about her. That there was that _something_ and it was so palatable and so real.

He shrugged. "Doesn't have to mean anything."

She noted well that he wasn't looking at her, that he was rolling his cigar between his fingers.

"Shouldn't mean anything."

But, it did. She wanted to tell him it did. She wanted to open her mouth and tell him that there was that _something_ and that she felt it, too. Her mouth wasn't working. Her brain was in overdrive, her heart was about to beat clear out of her chest, but her body wasn't working as one cohesive unit.

He narrowed his eyes, looking out at the go-kart track, watching as Chuck tried to catch Sarah, who was clearly smoking them all, as Devon tried to spin Chuck out.

With her mouth finally in working order, she said something, but it wasn't what her heart screamed to say. It was something that just came out. "Y'know, there's nothing quite like wooden roller coasters. Just because there are flashier ones, newer ones..."

He looked back at her cautiously.

"Classics never go out of style."

He smiled a little. "Maybe we can ride again sometime."

"Yeah," she whispered.

"C'mon," he said, his hand on her lower back, guiding her away from the shadows, out into the light.

As they caught up to the assembled group, Alex couldn't help but see the sadness in her father's eyes, and Morgan wasn't quite sure what to make of Ellie's shell-shocked expression.

"All right," Devon said, clapping his hands. "Who's up for the free-falling now?"

"You guys go ahead," Casey said, holding up his lit cigar as an excuse.

Sarah joined Devon, as did Morgan. Alex hesitated, but ultimately went with them.

"C'mon, bro. You try the free-fall, I won't make you do the metal 'coaster," Devon said, looking at Chuck.

Seeing Sarah's hopeful expression, Chuck couldn't resist. He stood with his girlfriend, sliding an arm around her waist.

"Babe?"

Ellie glanced back at Casey, torn for a moment. She returned her attention to her husband, all geeked and ready to go. All the attention was on her, for her answer. Chuck and Sarah seemed not to care one way or the other. There was something in Morgan's face that was unreadable and there was a tenderness in Alex's eyes. "I think I'll pass," she said finally.

* * *

End.


	2. Chapter 2

For notes and disclaimer, please see part one. This was only supposed to be a one-shot... but I think my plot bunnies went to spy school. (Still blaming you, Goddess, but lovingly, of course!) Additionally, many thanks to dear Baschashe, who wrote "with" me. :D

Here's a couple things you might need to know or maybe you just forgot: The entire Bartowski team heads off to an amusement park to spend an afternoon/evening, including the newest member: Alex. Only Casey offers to ride Ellie's favorite roller coaster with her and both feel something different for each other by the time they're through. When Devon insists on another "awesome" ride, both Ellie and Casey bow out.

* * *

The free-fall tower was one of the newer rides at the park and, as such, had one of the longest lines. Long enough that Casey could've finished his cigar, possibly smoke another one, and they still wouldn't have made it aboard yet.

Devon frowned. "She doesn't look happy."

Chuck glanced over at his brother-in-law. "What?"

"Your sister," Devon said, nodding towards her. "Casey, too."

"Casey never looks happy," Chuck said as he turned to see his sister sitting on the edge of the bench. Casey stood behind her, a hand in his pocket, his blue eyes, ever watchful, keeping a look-out. _Did that man ever calm down_? he wondered. _Take a day off_?

"Sometimes he does," Sarah corrected.

"_Rarely_," Chuck said.

"It's been better, actually, lately," Sarah said. And she knew exactly why as her blue eyes landed on Casey's daughter.

"It's the perils of amusement park visitation," Morgan said simply. "The hurry-up-and-wait."

"I hate for them to have to wait on us," Devon said.

"Maybe they could go find something else to do," Alex suggested.

Morgan's head just about ripped off his shoulders as he looked at her.

She shrugged innocently.

"I got this," Devon said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He called Ellie's number.

* * *

Casey watched as Ellie seemed startled at something.

She stood, finding her own phone in the pocket of her blue jeans. She held her envelope under her arm, closing the other ear off to try to hear as she answered. "Devon?"

"Hey, babe! Go do something fun. Drag Casey along if he's game. This may be a while."

Ellie bit the inside of her cheek. "Yeah, all right. Call us when you're through." Closing her phone, she put it back in her pocket before chancing a cautious look at Casey. She moved towards him, watching as his posture became... different. More guarded, she decided finally. "You want to get something to drink?"

He was thinking how nice a scotch would be right at that moment. He was fairly certain that wasn't what she was considering, but he nodded.

They ventured slowly down the path leading away from the ride, towards the food vendors. It was mostly sugary snacks, but there were hot dogs and nachos as well as a wide assortment of sodas. He stood beside her but a half-step back, casually observing as she walked, noting the tightness that had come back to her jaw, that the rigidity that had returned to her arms. He wasn't even making her ride in the front row of the roller coaster anymore.

He'd picked a hell of a time to drop something like that on her, he realized. They'd had the funeral for her father not that long ago. It had been a small ceremony. Those in attendance were those in attendance at the park, save Alex. While he hadn't stood with the family, he had been there. He would've gone in full dress uniform—her father deserved an honor guard—but because there were still lingering aspects of the cover that had to remain in tact, he wasn't able to. He'd worn his best black suit and his aviator sunglasses. He'd been armed and ready, too, in case something were to happen to the family.

While his original mission included only Chuck, he'd adapted it, expanded it.

Protecting the family, Morgan and Sarah included, _was _protecting Chuck. And even if the kid didn't want to be a spy anymore, he still had intelligence in his head. Even when Chuck had been terminated from the CIA after the first time the Intersect 2.0 had gone twitchy, he'd remained at Burbank, at the Buy More, at the Castle. There were still events happening in L.A. and there were still events concerning Chuck that needed to be seen to, and there was no one better qualified than the Colonel.

Wincing, he began: "Ellie, I-"

The same time, Ellie said: "John, would..."

They both stopped walking and stopped talking, looking at each other.

Ellie offered a slight smile. "Go ahead."

"Please," he said, deferring to her.

She licked her lips, glancing up at him. "The past month or so... Really, this whole year, it's been weird," she said, her hazel eyes searching his blue ones.

He nodded slightly.

"I... I never even apologized for what I did to you."

"I have a hard head," he assured her.

"It's more than that, though, I didn't trust you."

"We kept the truth from you. You were entirely within your rights to feel that way. You defended your home against what you felt was an invasion. You defended your safety against what you felt was a threat." He shrugged.

"I shouldn't have done that, though, John. I shouldn't have listened to a guy just because he'd shown me a badge and told me some crazy story about my father..."

"The best lies have a grain of truth to them," he told her. He placed his warm hand on her lower back again, guiding her away from the center of the food court. "Your father was in trouble. And the CIA and the NSA were protecting him, or wanted to," he said quietly. "We tried," he said as they finally reached the edge of the park, a space that wasn't crawling with people. It wasn't quiet, there was still the up-tempo contemporary music belting through the nearest speakers, but they were alone at least.

"That's..." She felt a growing lump in her chest. "That's what I mean," she said, looking up at him.

He wasn't following.

"I... I led them to him. I brought Dad in," she said. "_I_ did this." She was a tangled mess of emotions. The euphoria from the outing contrasted sharply with the guilt over her father. Then there was the feelings she'd had as they waited on the roller coaster, that she'd _had for him_ on the roller coaster, that he all but admitted to having back but there was also Devon. Devon, who thought she'd been cheating on him because she'd trusted Justin, who turned out to be completely untrustworthy.

"You aren't to blame for this. You had no way of knowing."

"Sure, I did," she said. "If I'd just asked you. If I'd just come to you..."

He shook his head. "I couldn't have told you anything. I was under orders. Still am."

"But, I know now."

"And that's dangerous enough." He could see that he wasn't making her feel any better, that she was still blaming herself and would continue to do so unless he could figure out a way to stop it, to break the vicious cycle he knew she was putting herself through. "Your father, while a patriotic, brave American who served his country honorably, if confidentially, wasn't the greatest father ever. He left you and Chuck when you were still kids. After you'd already lost your mother. He did the best he could. It wasn't always perfect. Same with you, Ellie. You did the best you could, knowing what you knew, what we allowed you to know, which wasn't nearly enough. The blame isn't yours."

She didn't immediately tell him he was wrong, or correct him about his observations on her father, which he assumed was a good sign.

"None of us are perfect here," he told her. "Turns out I'm a worse father. Grimes is..." He drifted off when he saw a glimmering ghost of a smile take to her lips for a fraction of a second. "I don't have to tell you how imperfect he is. Your brother, Walker... They're just as flawed as we are. Alex... Alex is clearly flawed for giving me a chance at being a father at all. The only one even remotely close..." He swallowed hard. While he knew it to be true, it was a hard admission.

"Don't say Devon," she said, shaking her head.

He tilted his head slightly to one side as a dark look took to her eyes.

"He's not anywhere near perfect either. He's... He's not innocent in this either. He knew before I did. He knew something about Dad, he knew something about Chuck..."

"None of us are innocent. None of us are perfect. None of us knew that the outcome would be _this_," he assured her, reaching out and placing a warm hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him. Looking into his eyes, she could remember the old John, the John she felt was so sweet, so kind. The old John that was just a neighbor, that was just a friend of Chuck's. And then she'd grown suspicious after tall tales about alcohol and nights at the police station, she'd even been moderately creeped out after his home remedy for Devon. All he'd been trying to do was help.

All he'd ever done was try to help.

And she'd thrown whatever good memories she'd had of him away when Justin Sullivan had told her he was a traitor, a double agent, after her father.

All he'd ever been was loyal.

"I should've done something," she said quietly.

"You couldn't have done anything differently, Ellie. It's like that roller coaster," he told her, glancing back at the ride they'd gone on twice. It wasn't far from them, neither was the free-fall tower. "No matter what, once you get on that train, once we go up that hill, we have to come back down. And the only thing you can do is hold on. And that's what's happened within the past several weeks. We wound up on the ride, whether we wanted to be or not."

The last thing he'd wanted to do was make her cry, not after hearing her laugh so beautifully earlier, not after seeing her smile for the first time since her father died. But that was exactly what he'd succeeded in doing. One tear slipped from her eyes, sliding down her cheek.

"Ellie..."

She turned from him, effectively removing his hand from her shoulder. She closed her eyes, taking a slow breath. It didn't make her feel any better. She knew she should, that he wanted her to, but she couldn't let go of the guilt. It was all encompassing, all consuming.

She was drowning in it.

If there was one thing he wasn't prepared to do, it was lose her. He'd come to appreciate her consistency, her reliability. She'd been the rock of the tiny Bartowski family for so long, he wasn't about to let her sink.

Reaching out, he eased the envelope from her fingers, holding it with his.

She turned back to him when she realized he'd stolen her photos. She looked up at him, trying to focus on his face through her watery eyes.

Wordlessly, Casey pulled her into his arms, wrapping her up protectively, tightly, holding her against him for the third time that night.

* * *

Once they finally were strapped securely into the ride and after they'd endured the obligatory pre-ride safety speech, Morgan glanced over at Alex. "Here goes nothing," he told her. While they'd all hoped to ride on the same side together, Devon, Chuck and Sarah had been on one side, Morgan and Alex just around the corner on the ring of seats that surrounded the tower.

Alex reached over, taking Morgan's hand and squeezing it gently.

"Nervous?" Morgan asked.

"Nah," she admitted.

Morgan wondered just how much Casey blood she really had in her. Apparently a couple quarts if she wasn't afraid of this ride. He still had his fingers loosely laced with hers when the ride finally yanked them up into the sky. "Hoo-boy. That..."

She glanced over, grinning. "You okay?"

He managed a nod, looking back at her. Her smile was brilliant, he had to admit. Whether or not he'd admit it _aloud_ was another thing entirely.

The rest of the ride to the top was slower. She finally pulled her eyes away from his, looking out at their incredible view of the park. "Wow," she murmured.

"Pretty crazy," he commented.

Alex could see they were higher than most of the rides, soaring way above the food vendors and carnie games. But, from that angle, she could see a pair having what looked like a serious conversation. "Morgan..."

"Yeah?"

Alex pointed at her father and Ellie, standing away from the rides, away from the games, away from the food vendors. They were lit in alternating neon pinks and greens.

"That's not a little weird to you?" he asked quietly, suddenly glad they weren't on the same side with the others.

"Something's wrong," Alex said, frowning.

They watched as Casey suddenly took Ellie into his arms. Before either of them had an opportunity to do anything more than gasp, they were free-falling at over sixty miles an hour back to the ground.

* * *

She'd been so determined not to let any tears fall. Not now, not at the park, not in front of him. It was a harder thing to accomplish than she would've expected. The very last thing she thought he would've been capable of doing was holding her like that. He'd seen how awkward the hug had been with Alex at dinner, once the truth was out, once she'd really learned everything.

She'd underestimated him. _Again_.

He felt her hold on tighter though wasn't sure why. He did the only thing he could do, remain silent. He wasn't particularly good at this kind of thing. If he'd thought, for one second, that someone might see them, that there were others in the park—several hundreds of others—who could've witnessed his rare emotional action, he might not have done it.

"I keep jumping at shadows," she whispered to his chest. "And I keep replaying everything from the past few months..."

"You can't," he told her hair.

"I can't help it."

He was silent for a long moment before coming up with the best solution he could. "Get off the ride."

She edged back from him only far enough to lift her head and look up at him. "What?"

"If the past six months have been like a roller coaster, if there was nothing we could do except wait until the train came back to the station... You don't have to go on it anymore, you don't have to keep reliving the mistakes that we made—that _all _of us made. Get off the ride and stay off."

"I don't think it's that easy."

"Try," he said simply.

She nodded a little but, instead of pulling back as he expected, she rested her head against him again.

He knew full well he was treading on pretty thin ice as it was, but he continued to hold her. She needed him. And if there was one thing he'd learned from the most recent ordeal, it was that team, that family—and those words were interchangeable to him—was important, irreplaceable. If she needed him, he was going to be there for her. He'd told Alex the same thing.

He wasn't sure his daughter believed him yet either, but he was trying. He was trying to be a better man. He was more than just a Marine, more than just a government killer. He had a heart. Even after twenty years of burying it, of hiding it, it still beat deep within his chest.

* * *

Morgan and Alex were still looking at each other in shock when Devon, Chuck and Sarah rounded the corner to see if they were ready to tackle the next ride.

Devon laughed warmly. "I _told_ you guys it was gonna be awesome."

Alex got to her feet numbly.

Sarah eyed the college co-ed cautiously for a moment. After all, she'd seemed pretty fearless. She'd heard from Casey that the girl had even tried to take him on and that was something some terrorists wouldn't even do. Even Morgan seemed more blank than usual, more distracted as they finally exited back to the park.

"I'm thinking sustenance next," Chuck said. "Nachos, funnel cakes? Who's with me?"

It was at the mention of food that Alex seemed to come around. Sarah smiled. Maybe she and Morgan would get along just fine.

"Actually, um... what about... what about the other roller coaster?" she said, pointing in the opposite direction.

_Maybe not_, Sarah thought, wondering what she was up to. Alex had looked utterly panicked at the thought of Chuck guiding them towards the food court.

"I'll call Ellie, see if she and Casey are up for it," Devon said, pulling out his cell phone.

Alex shot Morgan a look, but all he could do was shrug.

Sarah cleared her throat. "Casey's not much of a rider anyway..." She caught the glance from Alex that looked relieved. Something was most definitely up.

"Ye of little faith," Devon said, dialing.

And there it was back again, the anxiousness. "Hey, Alex, did you see the ring toss over here?" Sarah asked, guiding the younger woman away. They wandered only a few steps from the remainder of their group, but Sarah had to know: "What's going on?"

"You're my dad's partner, right?" Alex asked.

Sarah nodded.

"So, you know him best?"

"Probably," she admitted. She'd known him longest, certainly.

"How does he feel about Ellie?"

Sarah wasn't sure what Alex meant. "Well, he respects her..."

"You don't think there's anything going on between them?"

"Why would there be?"

Alex glanced back at Devon, Chuck and Morgan, who appeared to be waiting on an answer still, then led Sarah further away, finding a clear line of sight, just past the food court, on the very edge of the park, where Casey still held Ellie.

* * *

Ellie sighed heavily when she felt her phone ring. She was sure it was Devon, she was sure they were done on their death-defying free-fall. She pulled back reluctantly from Casey. While it had, initially, been her idea to go to the amusement park, clearly it wasn't the rides that was making her feel any better—it had been Casey. And she didn't want to let go of that, not yet.

"Yeah, Devon?" she asked, answering.

Casey took a step back from her. He hadn't done that. Just held somebody like that. When her phone hand rang, when she'd left the protective comfort of his arms, he'd realized that there were other people, that there were people who'd seen him—big, tough Marine—holding her—someone who wasn't his.

"Babe, Alex says the next ride is the big roller coaster. You and Casey wanna come?"

She tried to comprehend the sentence. Its construction was innocent and simple and yet it stopped her dead in her tracks. It tripped up her entire thought process. _You and Casey_. It was the truth. She was just standing there with Casey. But it, like the photos, had this odd ring of sounding _right_.

She looked at Casey, who'd gone back to standing in the shadows. Didn't he ever like the light? She reached out to him.

He stared at her hand for a moment, unsure of what he was supposed to do at first. Surely she didn't want him to take it, did she? While, yes, they'd held hands already that night, it was only because she'd been nervous. While, yes, he'd held her that night, it was only because she was upset. Wasn't it?

It wasn't because he wanted to. It wasn't because he needed to. It wasn't because, once he found her, he didn't ever want to let her go.

At least, he tried to tell himself that.

Her fingers curled slightly, beckoning him out of the darkness he loved so much.

He took one cautious step followed by another, until he was standing in front of her again. He never reached for her in return, never took her hand. One hand rested at his side, the other held both their envelopes of photos.

She lowered her phone, reaching out and finding his free hand.

The touch was soft, gentle. He swallowed hard. Didn't she realize how bad this was? Didn't she know that he only had so much willpower, so much strength? Hadn't she been listening to him when he'd said he was about as far from perfect as possible?

"Do you want to ride the newer coaster?"

He didn't care, one way or the other. "That's up to you, Ellie," he said, his voice sounding, to him, like it was in that hollow, different tone again.

She couldn't help but think about his analogy.

She didn't have to ride anymore... Not if she didn't want to.

She lifted the phone again, her eyes never wavering from his. "You guys go ahead."

* * *

Devon shook his head, looking at Morgan and Chuck. "You sure? It's got a corkscrew. Not to mention the coolest feature, practically a ninety-degree drop..."

"Y'know, there's nothing quite like wooden roller coasters," she said. "Just because there are newer ones, flashier ones... Classics never go out of style."

"Well, all right. You guys suit yourselves. We'll call again when we're through." He hung up the phone, shrugging. "Guess Ellie's out. Casey, too." He glanced around. "Hey... where'd Alex and Sarah go?"

* * *

"It's not really polite to spy," Sarah said quietly.

"Says the _spy_," Alex countered.

They watched as Ellie slipped her phone back in her pocket again. "They'll be looking for us," she said, meaning Devon, Chuck and Morgan.

"This isn't bad, is it?"

Sarah shrugged. As she expected, she heard their names called. "C'mon," she said, guiding Alex back.

* * *

Ellie looked up at Casey. She'd effectively bought them more time alone.

He hadn't failed to notice that she'd given Devon the same line, the same line she'd given him before all of them had met back up at the go-kart track. "What did you mean by that?"

"By what?" she asked.

"Wood versus metal," he said simply.

She hesitated. "I meant exactly what I said."

He neared her slightly, coming into her personal space, breaking into her bubble, causing the same reaction he had when they'd been waiting on their first ride together. "What does it mean for _this_?"

She could feel her heart pound in her chest. "For this _something _between us?"

He nodded.

"I don't know," she admitted. "But it might be worth finding out." If there was one thing she'd learned from the most recent ordeal, it was that time was fleeting, that life only lasted so long. At that moment, time felt _right_. She closed the distance between them again, finding that warm, protective spot in his arms.

* * *

Stay Tuned...

Lines from the next installment:

Sarah glanced between Alex and Morgan. "Does he know?"

Alex nodded.

"Do I know what? Are there more secrets? Man... You guys are like... secret central," Morgan said. "What do I know this time and who isn't supposed to know it?"

"About my dad and Ellie," Alex said simply.

"Oh, _that_."


	3. Chapter 3

For notes and disclaimer, please see part one. Apparently, GoddessofBirth was able to get the covert operation to my plot bunnies, who continue to attack... Also, song referenced within belongs to the Grass Roots. No copyright infringement intended.

Here's a couple things you might need to know or maybe you just forgot: Ellie breaks down with Casey, blaming herself for her father's untimely death. Casey tries to tell her that's not the case, that there were so many instances where things might've been different, where things might've been better, but things were put into motion that none of them could control by the time Stephen died. Alex and Morgan see Casey hold Ellie, and Alex even points it out to Sarah. Ellie's given a choice again: ride the new roller coaster with Devon or stay with Casey. She opts out of the ride.

* * *

It was different now that they were on the run. They had to adapt to a slightly different lifestyle. They couldn't be Jeffster. So the hand-made poster board proclaiming their band name said, in similarly styled letters: "Lesteff!"

Jeff had previously served as band manager but he'd been so thrilled when Big Mike had graciously stepped up and taken over the role. It was a hard job, trying to line up gigs. They weren't opening for any big-named bands yet but at least they weren't playing for pennies on the street corners either.

It was a dive of a joint with patrons more interested in the grub and the alcohol than the entertainment, which suited them just fine. They still got paid to play, whether anyone cheered or not. Lester couldn't help but wonder why they hadn't tried this sooner.

They were taking a break between sets, chatting up some of the ladies in the dim lights, when the door opened and _he_ walked in.

"Je-Je-Je-Jefferson," stuttered Lester, looking fearfully at the door.

Jeff downed an entire bottle of beer in three seconds flat, slamming the glass back on the bar before shooting a dazed grin at the girl beside him. "Yeah?"

"Jeff, _look_!"

Jeff spun on his stool, almost sliding off. He followed Lester's pointing finger and hiccuped. "The fuzz! I told you! I told you for years, he was a _narc_!"

Lester slowly got to his feet, however, when he saw the other person walk in with him, when he saw him put an arm around her, guiding her to a booth in the corner.

"No way," muttered Jeff.

A slow, nearly sinister smile took to Lester's lips. "I think we may be able to make a deal."

"What's he got that I don't?" Jeff lamented. "If she were hooking up with a random guy from the Buy More, then why not me? I have more skills than him. And I'm _way_ better looking..."

* * *

It wasn't the kind of a place he would've liked to have taken her, but it was the closest restaurant to the park. He wasn't familiar with it. He hadn't had an opportunity to scope it out, to plan for worst-case-scenarios, to figure out emergency exits and possible pitfalls.

Ellie didn't care so much where they were. It was nice to be able to sit down somewhere in the air conditioning. Plus, it wasn't quite as loud as the park had been. She couldn't help but notice his blue eyes were examining the place thoroughly.

Why hadn't she noticed it before?

In thinking back, though, she remembered. Even the first day, the very first time they'd met, when he'd come to her apartment, he'd brought a tray of delectable mini quiches and those concerned eyes. She'd been so shocked at the appearance of another person in general that she hadn't had time to properly process the fact that he was looking all throughout the apartment, checking the placement of the windows and doors, probably making note of things that could be later used as weapons.

She pondered that as she tugged her hair from its ponytail, running her fingers through the long tresses. What kinds of things did he think about? What kinds of things did he know? How could she have thought that he was anything but this government agent, this security expert? It had been easy to dismiss him, she realized, when he'd worn that green polo shirt. One of the things she liked about the fact that the store was now demolished was that, perhaps, they could all leave the electronics superstore in their past where it belonged.

Casey groaned.

"What?" she asked, a little worried.

It was too late for him to try to prevent the inevitable. He hadn't noticed the threat until it was too late, until he was practically at the table.

"My, my, my. Jonathan," Lester said, dipping his head slightly to Casey. "Eliza," he said, nodding to Ellie.

Ellie inched further into the booth, away from their guest.

"Patel," Casey said with barely restrained annoyance. "Shouldn't you and Barnes be in a hole by now?"

"Jeff and I do not run," Lester sneered. "Besides... This," he said, gesturing between Casey and Ellie, "I think, is just as interesting and, possibly, as volatile..."

Casey looked at Ellie. "Would you excuse me? Just for a moment?"

"Um... Sure," she said with a nod.

Casey stood suddenly, quickly, shoving Lester away from the table.

"N-now, John, we had a deal... there would be no killing, no threats..."

"And there is no more Buy More," Casey said as he pushed him clear back to the bar where Jeff sat. "No Big Mike to protect you. There is absolutely _nothing_ in this world that would prevent me from killing you."

"Sure there is," Jeff said, fearless for having had so many drinks. "Wouldn't want to upset your new _girlfriend_."

"Not my girlfriend."

"Please," Lester said, emboldened by his friend's bravado. "It's quite clear. She left Dr. Awesome for you. Why, I really couldn't fathom, but that's not the point. The point is... you can't hurt us, not without scaring the little woman," he said, chancing a glance at Ellie who was, indeed, watching what was unfolding across the room.

"If you so much as _think_ about looking at her again, they'll never find your remains," Casey growled. It was predatory and dangerous. Even once he'd said it, he wasn't entirely sure where it had come from.

Lester swallowed hard, returning his attention to the rather scary gentleman in front of him. "So, we can come to some sort of arrangement, right? We won't tell anyone about what we see here... and you won't tell the police that we haven't skipped town. I think that sounds fair. Doesn't that sound fair, Jeff?"

"I still think he's not anywhere near so good looking as I am," Jeff said. He thought he was whispering, but the alcohol had taken away his internal volume controls.

"I heard that, _idiot_," Casey said, his blue laser-like focus narrowing on Jeff.

The keytar man swallowed hard. "Sorry. But, it's true."

"You haven't answered," Lester pointed out. "Do we have a deal?"

"Provided you pretend like we don't know each other for the rest of the evening, so that we can eat without you two _numb nuts_ interrupting... then yes. We have a deal."

"We wouldn't dare interrupt your romantic escapade," Lester said.

Still with the verbal jabs. Casey merely smiled at him. It wasn't an easygoing smile. He was going for intimidating and he knew he'd succeeded, watching the concern seep into Lester's expression. "Have a good night," he said before stalking back towards the booth.

Ellie glanced up casually from her menu as he sat down across from her again. "Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"And they...?"

"Won't be a problem," he assured her.

"I took the liberty. I thought you looked like you could use a beer," she said.

He offered her a much gentler smile as he nodded.

* * *

As they neared the roller coaster, they could see another long wait in their future. Devon sighed. "Maybe we should grab something to eat. Just a little something. The line might clear out in another fifteen minutes," he said, glancing at the thrill-seekers with him.

"I'm still not riding that thing," Chuck said. It looked too much like a metal dragon to him and he was more than happy to sit it out.

While the main food court was on the other side of the park, there were the occasional little stands. "Looks like we've got... gigantic pretzels," Morgan said, glancing around, "or fruity-ice things, or... hey, deep fried Twinkies."

Alex made a face.

"Don't knock what you haven't tried," Morgan said sagely.

"All right, pretzels, a ride on the roller coaster, then more substantial grub afterward?" suggested Devon.

"Sounds perfect," Sarah said.

"All right, gigantic twisty pretzels for everybody," Devon said, heading off towards the little stand.

Sarah put a hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Why don't you go help?"

Chuck didn't think anything about her request before bounding off to assist his brother-in-law.

Sarah glanced between Alex and Morgan. "Does he know?"

Alex nodded.

"Do I know what? Are there more secrets? Man... You guys are like... secret central," Morgan said. "What do I know this time and who isn't supposed to know it?"

"About my dad and Ellie," Alex said simply.

"Oh, _that_. I still can't..." He shook his head. "I just am not sure I can see it. You didn't hear what Awesome does on a daily basis for that woman. She would be insane to stray. Trust me. If he weren't married, and if I swung that way, there might be a different Mrs. Woodcomb," Morgan admitted.

"I really don't think I'm seeing things that aren't there, though," Alex said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I'm not saying either of you are wrong. I'm just wondering who knows what," Sarah said, glancing over at Chuck and Devon, who were completely oblivious.

"Pretty sure it's just us," Morgan confirmed. "You know Casey best, don't you?"

Sarah offered a slight nod.

"He just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who would do something like this, y'know? He's got this real thing for loyalty and rules... and him and Ellie? I mean, that seems like it would be breaking ten kinds of rules," Morgan said, glancing at Alex.

"If there's one thing I know about Casey, it's that his greatest weakness, the things he is less than awesome at..." She stopped. "And that's not comparing him to Awesome," she corrected. "But the thing he's not that great at is interpersonal relationships."

"Has the big guy even had a date in the past three years?" Morgan asked.

"Guys, I think you're missing it," Alex said. "I don't think it matters how long you've known him. I still don't know him all that well. But I'm not blind. There's _something_."

"But, that's not Casey. Casey wouldn't allow himself to _have_ something," Sarah said.

"Pretty sure that's kinda obvious," Alex said. "Case in point, me. But... The John that I know? The one who came to the restaurant all the time, who asked me about school, who always had the apple pie and a cup of black coffee... That's a guy who has a heart, a guy who cares." She hesitated. "And maybe... Huh. Maybe that's why you haven't seen it?"

"What's why?" Morgan asked.

"Because, to you," she said, glancing at both of them, "he's just Casey. I'm not the only one who calls him John."

Sarah and Morgan both realized she'd made a very valid point at the same time, exchanging cautious glances.

* * *

He looked at her curiously after the waitress left the table.

"What?" she asked, taking a sip of her beer.

"I just wouldn't have figured you for a double Angus cheeseburger with onion rings kind of woman."

She smiled a little, setting her bottle back on the table. "You only live once, right?"

He dipped his head slightly.

She idly peeled at the label on her beer. "John..."

"Hm?"

She looked up at him. "Why are you here?"

"You know why."

"No, I mean... Chuck quit, right?"

"Some things will remain classified, Ellie, indefinitely. There will be some things that you will never know about your brother, about your father... About me."

"Short of joining the CIA myself, right?"

Casey rested his elbows on the table between them, looking her square in the eyes. "There were some things we did specifically at Chuck's request to keep you safe from the CIA. If you think you don't want him involved... There were many discussions about what we were and were not able to do regarding _you_, all at your brother's request."

"Like what?"

"Like classified things."

She sighed.

"It's the name of the game. There's nothing I can do to change that."

"Is he still an agent?"

He shook his head.

"Then..."

"He's still important."

"Why?"

"Because the government said so. And that is all I can say."

"So, that's why you're still here? You're still protecting him?"

"Not doing such a great job of that, at dinner here with you, am I?"

"Which brings me to another point," she said, finally peeling a corner of her label off the bottle. "What are you doing here with me?"

"I thought we were tying to figure out whatever _this_ was."

"Do you have any idea?"

The rational side of his brain had some ideas, none of which he particularly cared for, but they made the most sense. He shrugged slightly. "You've been through an incredible trauma. Your life has been turned upside down. It might explain whatever feelings you're having." He left off the part that hurt him the most: the _for me_ part that should've ended that sentence.

"It's not the first time I've lost my father," she admitted.

"It's the first time you've lost him permanently," he said quietly.

At the thought of her father shot, falling, that lump returned to her chest and it hurt. It radiated pain and anguish. She still felt responsible. She felt herself riding up that hill of grief again, up that hill Casey'd told her she didn't have to travel. His hands were still resting on the table and she reached out, holding onto one.

He held her hand but he couldn't help but wonder if she was just latching onto him because he was right there. That this _something_ that lingered wasn't anything except her broken heart looking for a safe harbor, a protective place to heal. It could've been anyone. If Devon had gone with her, on her favorite ride, if Devon had cared about what she wanted instead of trying to feed his incessant adrenaline addiction, she would've gone seeking shelter within the protective confines of her marriage instead of the Marine next door.

Swallowing hard, he asked: "Have you talked to Devon about this at all?"

She shook her head. "Not really."

"Why not?"

She took a ragged breath. "He's not... he's not had to struggle at anything," she said. "College on a football scholarship. And what wasn't paid for, his parents covered. Parents. Plural. He still has both of them. They're still married, they've raised a whole family of _awesome_ boys who can do no wrong."

"Sounds like he'd be the perfect person to hold onto at a time like this." As he finished his sentence, he felt her squeeze his hand harder.

"He doesn't understand, John. I did try. I tried to talk to him about it, but he's never understood why... why I worry like I do, why I do the things that I do, why I'm the way that I am. He's never had to make the hard choices, y'know?"

"Like what?" he pressed gently.

"Like, what's really more important, having fun or having a home..." She looked up at him. "You... You gave up the life you had. You gave up everything you knew. You gave up the woman you loved for your country. I can't even imagine how hard a choice that was, but that makes me think that you would understand where I'm coming from. I gave up everything for Chuck. I sacrificed everything I possibly could to make sure that he didn't realize that we were struggling. I didn't even know what I was doing half the time," she admitted. "I... I gave up everything I wanted for something that was greater than myself."

Casey took a slow breath. He hadn't even thought of that, that they had the possibility of being alike. He felt they were so different. He was harsh. She was kindness personified. He was military. She was civilian. He lived in the darkness. She lived in the light.

But, now that she'd said it, maybe they weren't so different. Maybe they did have a different kind of understanding of each other. Maybe that was why he couldn't be mad at her for the choices she'd made. She'd done everything she thought was right. It was just that she'd just been given faulty intel. He'd been faced with that situation before. It was a double-edged sword, after all. For every piece of intelligence out there, there was an equally convincing piece (or two) of _counterintelligence_.

They should've been more aware of the fact that there was a possibility for the Ring to access the Intersect, to manipulate the situation. Now that he knew it had occurred, he'd make sure that it never happened again.

Just like he knew she would never blindly accept anything some stranger told her about their group. It was even more tight-knit now than it had ever been, once the truth had finally all come out.

But, as comforting as that realization was, it still wasn't a convincing answer for the _something _that lingered over them. He downed more of his beer, hoping the alcohol might bring everything into clarity. As he lowered his bottle again, the only thought that came to mind was how beautiful she was. And that was a very bad thought to be having.

He realized, as silence descended over the table, that he was failing to take his own advice. Time was linear. There was nothing he could do to take back the comments he'd made to her, the fact that he'd admitted that he cared about her, even if it hadn't been _exactly_ in so many words. He needed to stop obsessing over the fact that the truth was out there. He needed to focus on the now.

Except, the grating tones of Lester welcoming everyone to the second set of the Lesteff show was enough to bring his thought processes to a complete halt.

Ellie looked over at the stage area with some trepidation.

"Let's take it back, Jeff... Let's take it way back to the late sixties, what do you say?"

"I say... what are we playing, Lester?"

Lester cleared his throat, covering the microphone with his hand for a moment, hissing something at his friend.

"Oh, right!" Jeff said before beginning the opening strains.

"That's right, folks... A little classic rock... Dedicated to my friends at that booth over there," he said, pointing at Casey and Ellie.

Ellie sucked in a quick breath and practically _felt_ Casey's rumbling growl. It took a moment before she realized she recognized the song that Jeff was playing moderately in-key on his keytar. It wasn't the first time she'd heard Jeffster play. She had a feeling, no matter how much she would love to _stop_ hearing them, she'd never be able to. They'd played her first wedding. They'd played her going away party. And now they were playing this night, as if the evening couldn't get any more surreal.

"The sound of your footsteps," Lester began warbling, "telling me that you're near... your soft, gentle motion, baby, brings out the need in me that no one can hear except!" He inhaled. "In my midnight confession, when I tell all the world that I love you..."

Casey made a mental note to strangle them both sometime. He could decide, in the moment of their death, if it would be quick and painless or slow and excruciating. He looked back at Ellie, to gauge her reaction.

When he saw her start to chuckle, start to laugh, he decided that maybe, just maybe, he would give the two morons a pass. For the time being.

* * *

Chuck watched with some interest the looks that kept passing between his girlfriend, his best friend, and his best friend's potential girlfriend. They were trying to be subtle, but in his three years of being the Intersect, he'd picked up on more than enough spy skills to detect that there was something going on that they were trying to keep hidden.

And if there was one thing he'd learned from the most recent ordeal, it was that lies only led to trouble when the truth was kept from loved ones.

He wished he'd gone in the line with them, just to stand around, to hang out. Because clearly there was something going on that they weren't telling Devon _and_ him. It was the _and him_ part that troubled him the most.

He and Sarah had had long conversations since the psychiatric hospital incident, since the nearly dying at Shaw's hand incident about the truth, and how they needed to be completely open and honest with each other. And he knew she was keeping something from him now. He didn't feel like it was a big something. If Morgan and Alex knew, maybe it was a surprise. Maybe they were planning to spend the rest of the night in the arcade, playing pinball and air hockey? Maybe they were trying to figure out where to go for dinner?

The more Chuck thought about that, though, the more he realized that wasn't really secret-worthy. Since the most recent events, since losing his father, he'd spent a lot of time thinking about what was secret-worthy and what wasn't.

For the moment, his father's hidden lair and the file on his mother was most definitely secret-worthy. He wasn't entirely sure what to do with the information yet. He didn't want to process with anyone's help, particularly because he was afraid of what the assistance might suggest, like turning over the information, the tech, and the old homestead itself over to the government, and, while Uncle Sam might appreciate it, he didn't.

For Sarah to be keeping something, for Alex and Morgan to be keeping it, too, it had to be somewhat more important than just dinner plans. He had a dread fear that it was something that had the potential to make Casey blow a gasket. Like, say, Alex was moving into the apartment, too.

They could almost spin that as a good thing. Casey could keep all his chickens under one roof, as it were. But, he could also imagine a whole new layer of surveillance _hell_ coming into his apartment if Casey's daughter were to live there.

With Morgan.

It was only a two-bedroom apartment and his was completely full, so the only place for her to go would be in Morgan's room.

...until the point at which Casey killed him in some unique, disturbing and completely undetectable way, successfully giving Alex the room to herself.

Chuck shook his head. No, they can't be thinking that yet.

At least, he hoped not.

* * *

Stay tuned...

Lines from the next installment:

She tried to categorize the feelings she was experiencing. There was safety, relative contentedness. As she looked at him, she almost felt like they were kindred spirits.

But, she hadn't trusted him. She'd allowed some interloper to come into their tight-knit circle and cause all these problems. It had all been her fault. She kept coming back to that.

It wasn't like a roller coaster, she decided. It was more like a tilt-a-whirl. She was starting to make herself sick with the circular thinking.


	4. Chapter 4

For notes and disclaimer, please see part one.

For Baschashe, with hugs. ~K

Here's a couple things you might need to know or maybe you just forgot: Casey and Ellie grab a bite at a restaurant near the park, where the evening's entertainment is an on-the-run Jeffster! operating under the name Lesteff! Alex makes valid points about what Sarah and Morgan are missing with regards to the potential of Casey and Ellie. Ellie confides in Casey that she can't talk to Devon, that he doesn't understand but she believes Casey might. Chuck decides Alex, Morgan and Sarah are clearly up to something.

* * *

She found a unique peace, sitting at the table, sharing a meal with him. She felt better than she had in months, maybe even a year. And that was the thought that was especially troublesome. After all, she'd been married a year and she was finding this happiness sitting somewhere her husband _wasn't_.

She tried to categorize the feelings she was experiencing. There was safety, relative contentedness. As she looked at him, she almost felt like they were kindred spirits.

But, she hadn't trusted him. She'd allowed some interloper to come into their midst and cause all these problems. It had all been her fault. She kept coming back to that.

It wasn't like a roller coaster, she decided. It was more like a tilt-a-whirl. She was starting to make herself sick with the circular thinking.

Casey could see she was starting to lose whatever control she had again. Instead of just reaching across the table to hold her hand, he eased out of his side of the booth and slid in next to her.

She shouldn't find him so comforting. But, when he eased his arm around her tentatively, she immediately slid closer, finding the space between them to be unnecessary. She rested her head against his shoulder lightly. She shouldn't want to, she shouldn't have done so, but the fact of the matter remained. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to do, to hold onto him.

She'd lost so much. Her whole world was different now. Her father was gone, really gone. Her head was still spinning from the knowledge that Casey and Sarah and her brother were spies, that Morgan and Devon knew.

No matter how much she wished it was all some kind of bad dream, she knew it wasn't. She knew that things were different. And that might even be why that _something_ she'd discovered felt right.

Casey realized that it must've looked exactly like what Jeff and Lester thought. That they were together.

But, he'd gotten a full report from Morgan. He knew exactly how Devon treated Ellie, exactly the litany of things the surgeon did for her on a daily basis. Casey wasn't like that. He wasn't sure he'd ever know how to be like that.

Except, she wasn't in Devon's arms at the moment, was she?

"Why didn't you fight back?" she asked suddenly.

He glanced down at her. "What?" As they'd already finished their burgers and a beer apiece, they were just waiting on the bill

"Why didn't you fight back?" she asked, looking up at him. "I hit you twice. You're a Marine. You've been trained. Why didn't you fight back?"

He shook his head.

"You were attacked. You're telling me that you don't know how to defend yourself? Against someone armed with a frying pan?"

"I'm not about to hurt you, Ellie."

"I should've known that two months ago."

He whispered to her hair, murmuring: "Stop."

She inhaled slowly.

"Doesn't matter. You know now."

The waitress stopped by the table, offering them a knowing smile as she dropped off the bill.

Casey wasn't sure if it was a good thing that the _something_ between them was so visible to others. But it was definitely still clear to Jeff and Lester, who couldn't resist one last volley. As Casey pulled his wallet out, leaving enough cash for their meal and a nice tip, he heard Lester begin to croon Rick Springfield's Jesse's Girl.

Casey didn't bother responding. He knew it wasn't worth it as he led Ellie back out into the warm night.

She hadn't heard from Devon again. "Guess they're still having fun," she said, pulling out her phone to make sure she hadn't missed a call.

"You could always call him, if you wanted," he said, glancing cautiously at her.

She tested the weight of her phone in her hand for a moment, considering her options. She finally closed her phone, sliding it back in the pocket of her jeans. "They'll call when they're done."

The more she did things like that, the more he allowed himself to believe that there really was _something_. There was _something_ that he could hold onto, _something_ he could look forward to, _something_ that could happen between them. The more she did things like that, the more he wanted her to continue.

As they walked slowly back towards the park, she lingered by their cars. They'd arrived together and had gotten to park next to each other, Casey's black Ford Crown Victoria and Devon's silver Honda hatchback. They'd stopped by once already on the way to the restaurant to drop off the photos for safe keeping.

He glanced at her.

She had that distant look in her eyes. That post-traumatic stress, thousand-yard stare kind of a thing. As much as she'd needed a day away from her plaguing thoughts, as much as she thought the amusement park would help, she was realizing that wasn't the case at all.

He could see her start to spiral again. While it seemed like he was able to help somewhat, the occasional touch wasn't a cure-all. He needed to do something else.

He thought back to Sarah's report from the battle with Shaw at the Buy More, shortly before Morgan managed to blow up the electronics superstore. Chuck's Intersect 2.0 brain needed to reboot. Once he managed that, he was able to successfully battle the Ring double-agent, even without the governor on his wrist. Maybe Ellie needed something like that, too. Something that tricked the brain into realizing she was stronger than that, that she could get past that.

While she didn't have an Intersect in her head, she was a Bartowski.

He had a thought. He wasn't sure how well it would be received. He wasn't sure how well it would work, either. But, it made some sense. He should try it, right? He should try something to help her, something to distract her from being pulled back under by grief. He swallowed hard but went for it.

She looked up at him but didn't fully realize the purpose, the reason why he was suddenly closer to her. She felt warm arms wrap around her again and closed her eyes. There was something completely _wonderful_ about that sensation.

But he didn't stop at the embrace like he had previously. One hand was on her lower back, pulling her close to him. The other got lost in her long dark hair.

It was only when the sensations seemed to make her skin tingle all over that she realized this was something more than what he'd given her before, that it was about to become something they couldn't walk away from. It was only when she saw his face nearing hers that she realized what was coming next.

She should've stopped him. She should've said something to stop him. The truth of the matter was, however, that she didn't want to. It wasn't that she couldn't speak. She was fairly certain she still had control of her vocal cords. It was that she _chose_ not to. Everything was so different now, including her. There was that _something_ she couldn't adequately explain.

The anticipation, the nearness of him was intoxicating. Time stopped. The sounds of the park, of the nearby traffic all disappeared. The lights seemed both impossibly dark and too bright at the same time, creating a bubble around them, where all she could see was him. There was that _something_ in his eyes. She didn't want to put a name to it. Not because she didn't want to believe it was there, but because she liked the excitement of not knowing what it was. As soon as she named it, she was afraid it would become different, that it wouldn't be as thrilling.

That _something_ was exhilarating, lively.

And that _something_ became so much more real as his lips descended onto hers.

The tingling sensations she'd felt exploded, dancing across her skin. Every nerve in her body seemed to come alive at the tender touch of his mouth against hers. It became all-consuming fire. It became intense heat. She moaned softly, deepening the kiss.

He'd struggled to maintain control. This had been his brilliant idea, his _operation_. He kept telling himself that, that it was like a cover, that it was like a mission. That all he was trying to do was reset her brain, to prevent her from traveling to those dark corners of her mind, to keep her in the present as opposed to the past. But, hearing her, feeling her, holding her close, he began to lose that distinctive separation.

It was no longer just an objective, just a goal to achieve. He craved her, more of her. He backed her against his Crown Victoria, pressing her there, keeping her there, succumbing to the will of that _something._

That _something_, he was pretty sure, was going to be impossible to ignore anymore.

* * *

Chuck joined the rest of the group as they stumbled off the metal roller coaster. Sarah seemed to be the only one who fared okay. Morgan and Alex kept falling into each other. Devon couldn't walk in a straight line at all. "How was it?"

"It was..." Devon's face lit up. "_Awesome_!"

Chuck cracked a slight smile. "Well, you guys ready to eat now?"

"My stomach is _still_ on the corkscrew," Morgan said, placing both hands on his stomach, as if that might manage to quiet his innards.

"Sarah, I saw a corn-dog stand. I'm thinkin', for old times sake, we should get one. What do you say?"

She looked at her boyfriend and could tell, easily, the underlying request. "Sure. We'll catch back up after we eat," she said, sending Alex a smile before walking away with Chuck.

Once they were far enough away from the others, he had to ask. "All right, what's going on?"

Sarah looked at him innocently but she could tell he wasn't buying it.

"You and Morgan and Alex are up to something."

"I'm not sure what's going on yet myself," she said. "But there's..."

"There's what?" he asked seriously.

Sarah sighed slightly. "I saw Casey and Ellie together."

"Yeah. We left them to ride the little roller coaster together. I'm pretty sure we all saw that."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I saw Casey and Ellie _together_. He was... He was holding her."

"Why would Casey do that...?"

"Morgan and Alex and I were trying to figure that out. Alex... Alex has some interesting ideas," she admitted.

"Interesting ideas about what?"

"About there being _something_ between them," Sarah said.

Chuck decided that that was much worse than the potential of Alex moving in with them. He'd much rather have that be what was going on instead of the potential for _something_ between his supposedly happily married sister and John Casey. "Oh," was all he could say.

* * *

It wasn't just one innocent kiss. In fact, the innocence had pretty much been lost the minute Casey ignored the rational parts of his brain that screamed at him that this was a bad idea a split second after his lips touched hers. The emotional side of him took over. He wasn't usually one to give into pleasure-seeking. He was normally a man on a mission and that was just fine with him.

But when faced with the prospect of backing away from Ellie or kissing her for all he was worth, he couldn't help but choose the latter. When her fingers danced lightly under the bottom edge of his polo, when her cool fingers found the warm skin of his back, that only fueled his fire more.

Ellie wasn't blameless either. She hadn't pushed him away, she hadn't hit him—and she had proven in the past few weeks that she could accomplish that task when push came to shove.

With each passing second, it seemed more and more unlikely that they would ever break the kiss, not until it was necessary. The hunger behind it was urgent. It was the only thing either of them could feel.

She didn't even realize that her phone was vibrating in her pocket until Casey reluctantly stopped. She'd tried to close the distance again, to make sure that his lips returned to hers, but when she finally noticed her cell phone, it was like the spell had been broken.

She inhaled deeply, desperate to catch the breath that he'd stolen from her. With a hand that felt like jelly, she pulled the phone from her pocket.

He watched as the dazed happiness from a moment ago was replaced with regret and dread. He'd worked so hard to _remove_ those emotions from her face and he knew it had to have been Devon who just put them back. The joy he felt deep in his own chest was replaced with annoyance and anger, and he knew that wasn't good either.

She licked her kiss-swollen lips before answering. "H-hello?"

He could tell there was a breathy difference in her voice. If he could tell, he was sure Devon could, too.

"Babe! We're grabbing some nachos over at one of the little taco stands. You hungry?"

"Actually, John and I..." She looked up at Casey. She and John had just shared the most tremendous kiss she'd ever experienced. She got light-headed and weak-kneed just remembering it. The feel of him against her, the taste of him. She gaped for a minute before finally managing to finish her sentence: "ate already."

"Well, I'm thinking we need to hit the arcade. We haven't given the pinball a spin yet. There's the wall of skee ball machines. All seven of us, bowling for strikes at the same time. That might be fun, huh? And air hockey..."

"We'll meet you at the arcade," Ellie said.

"All right, babe. See you in a few," he said before ending the call.

Ellie closed her phone, dropping it back in her pocket.

For a long time, they just looked at each other.

He knew he should apologize, that he should tell her what his thought process was.

She knew she should apologize, that she should tell him that she hadn't meant to encourage that.

Except, at least in her case, it was a moderate lie. Once they started, she didn't mind riding out the wave, even if it had meant violently crashing ashore with the phone call from Devon.

Not for the first time that night, they tried to say something at the same time.

"John, I-"

"Ellie, we-"

It was her turn to defer. "Go ahead."

"I insist," he said, shaking his head slightly.

"I want to hear what you have to say first," she said, searching his eyes. There was a fear there that had developed since their kiss.

"I..." He paused. The _very last_ thing he wanted to do was cause any more problems for her. The only thing he'd intended to do was help. Clearly, he hadn't considered every outcome before he'd put his plan into action. He was afraid that, if he told her he hadn't meant for that to happen, that she might tune out the rest of what he was saying, that she might get caught on the preface before listening to the entire premise. Plus, he'd wanted to kiss her. More than that, he wouldn't mind doing it again. Quite possibly for the rest of his life. "I didn't want you to be sad."

She tilted her head to one side slightly.

The subtle movement caught his eye and his attentions in an unintended way. Her neck was more exposed now and his first thought was to that new expanse of skin, the new part of her he might explore.

She saw the shift in emotions cross his face, from the concern to the desire_._ He still wanted her. "John..."

He wasn't going to say anything, not until she said something else back.

"It worked."

He blinked. "What?"

"I'm not sad anymore. Not after..." Her heart pounded in her chest. Her lungs were desperate for more oxygen. Her lips missed having his. "Not after your kiss," she murmured.

He hadn't meant to grunt after that comment but apparently his body had other ideas about how to respond to that sentence. Desire flooded him again. He was a hardass Marine and he could withstand anything. Anything e_xcept _her. "Ellie," he groaned.

"We... We're supposed to meet everyone else at the arcade," she said, her voice ever so slightly on edge.

He could see that dread take to her eyes again. He nodded. She was still married, he told himself. She wasn't anywhere close to being his. Swallowing hard, he led her back towards the park. He couldn't resist putting his hand on her lower back, however, as he guided her.

Ellie knew she had to tell Devon about what had happened between her and Casey. At some point, before the night was out, she was going to have to tell him. She knew that would be another uncomfortable conversation, but those seemed to be the only kind she'd had with her husband for a while now, since finding out about Chuck, since Africa, since...

Since he tried to explain why he'd allowed Jeffster! to play their first attempt at a wedding.

He heard her take a slow, shallow breath as the arcade came into view.

* * *

Alex sat with Morgan on the bench outside the arcade, watching the families bustle past. She was keeping an eye out for her father again, curious to see just how he behaved around Ellie. Because she felt an awful lot like Alice, that the whole situation was becoming curiouser and curiouser.

"Seven o'clock," Morgan muttered.

Alex's blue eyes slowly scanned over in the direction he indicated, spotting the couple she'd been waiting on. Sure enough, they were walking close together. Neither looked too happy. They didn't look like they were talking to each other. It was very different from when they'd approached the go-kart track from the wooden roller coaster.

"What do you think that means?" Morgan asked. "Anything?"

"I dunno," she admitted. She stood, however, when they approached. "Hey," she said brightly.

Both tried to smile. Neither quite managed it.

Ellie stopped, though, and looked back at Casey. She almost put a hand on his chest, but didn't. "I'll go find Devon, if you want to hang out here..."

He wasn't keen on the idea of leaving her alone, but he nodded slightly.

Her hand brushed past his briefly before she disappeared within.

Morgan tossed his empty nacho tray in the garbage can nearest to the arcade entrance. "Y'know, I promised Chuck we'd have a rematch on the old Ms. Pacman. So, um..." He pointed to the interior of the arcade, and Alex nodded.

Soon, it was just Alex and her dad standing there, looking at each other.

"Are you having a good time?" Casey asked.

Alex nodded. "What about you?"

"It's fine."

She didn't believe him. And she didn't want them to be anywhere near the others when they had their conversation. "What do you say? You wanna try to win your daughter a stuffed teddy bear? Make up for another old time we missed out on?"

"I'm not very good at those arcade things..." He found there were other things he'd rather spend his money on than trying to perfect his skee ball throw. Like ammunition or coffee, for example.

"I was thinking one of these fine games of skill and chance," she said, pointing at one of the shooting game booths tucked in and amongst the rides as opposed to the arcade itself.

He shrugged slightly and they walked towards the stall. If that was what Alex wanted, he'd give it a shot, quite literally. Casey paid for a round of bullets and lifted the flimsy rifle from its receptacle.

As Alex knew he was completely capable of doing, he was able to shoot out the tiny paper target, even with the rigged weapon that shot several inches to the left. She smiled as she selected the stuffed dolphin from the prize wall. "That's really kind of impressive," she said.

He offered a slight shrug. "Been a Marine over twenty years," he said as they wandered away. "I would hope, if there's one thing I'm good at, it would be weaponry."

"Seems like there's something else you're good at."

He glanced over at her. "Well, it's certainly not parenting. I've not seen you the whole afternoon."

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of you... you and Ellie."

Casey stopped dead in mid step. "What do you mean?"

"C'mon. I may not have the experience that you do or that Sarah or Chuck have, or even Morgan, but I think I'm a pretty good judge of character. I think I'm more observant than most."

"Just what have you seen?" Casey asked, an edge of nervousness in his voice.

"You holding her. The way you look at her. The way you treat her."

It was more obvious than he'd realized, if even Alex was picking up on it. He wondered how long it would be until Chuck and Sarah were able to see it as well. And, as much as he knew he'd try to deny it, his heart would always give him away. "She's married."

"So?"

"To someone else."

"John... The statistics are particularly troubling about the lasting power of marriages today."

"Are you trying to encourage me or scare me away here, Alex?" he asked.

She smiled a little. "I'm just trying to get you to tell me what's going on between the two of you. Because, there's enough electricity between the two of you to run this whole park for a week."

If he still had any lingering doubts about the fact that she was his daughter, they should've all vanished with that admission. She was, most definitely, his daughter.

* * *

Chuck glanced up from the change machine when he spotted his sister finally wander in. He poured the five dollars' worth of quarters into Sarah's hands and moved to intercept Ellie before she reached Devon, who was practicing his free-throws in the corner. "Sis?"

She seemed startled. "Hey, Chuck."

"You got a second?"

"Yeah, sure. What's... what's up?"

"Are you okay?" he asked, his dark eyes worriedly checking her over.

Her hair seemed kind of disheveled, but she had been on a roller coaster or two. She didn't seem to be quite herself. Her eyes seemed different. She held her mouth tightly, peculiarly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I dunno. You've been spending a whole lot of time with Casey tonight. That's enough to drive anyone, potentially, insane. Trust me, I would know this. There have been days we've spent every waking hour together. Those aren't the fun kinds of days you look forward to working," he told her. Except, he couldn't help but notice a change in her once he'd said that. "Of course, now that I'm out of the spy game, since you asked me to," he said, drifting off as he noticed she wasn't really paying attention to him anymore. "...not that I see him much anymore. Really. Y'know..."

She was imagining what it would be like, to be around Casey twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. That didn't sound like water-boarding. That sounded like heaven.

"El?"

"Mm?"

"Are you and... Are you and Devon okay?"

She was jerked from her nice mental image with that question. The short answer would seem to be "no." Possibly even a vehement "no." "Why do you ask?" she said, trying to deflect.

"Just... Again, you and Casey seemed to be spending a lot of time together." He couldn't press her further about it. While he knew he should've said something about the fact that they appeared to be getting awfully cozy with one another, he couldn't bring himself to spit it out.

"I had a nice night. I don't think that's a crime... is it?"

Chuck shook his head. "Y'know, if you wanted to talk about anything... before there were any rash decisions made... I figure we owe that to each other, after everything we've been through."

Except, she could rationalize keeping the truth from him because it wasn't his business. It was her business and it was personal. And she wasn't even sure what she was doing yet. "Sure," she managed.

Chuck nodded slowly, but her response didn't really make him feel any better.

* * *

Stay tuned...

Lines from the next installment:

"I had my chance," he said. "I had my chance with your mother, and I let it slip away. I could've been happily married and had a family. I could've been there when you were born. I could've been there when you took your first steps, when you said your first words..."

"You don't get just one shot, Dad. This is America, land of opportunity. Opportunity you've helped to protect and defend. You don't get one chance and then it's gone forever. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm trying to have a relationship with you. Just because you made a decision twenty years ago doesn't mean you can't make another one now." She could tell she'd lost him somewhere along the way. "What...?"

"You... you called me Dad," he said quietly.


	5. Chapter 5

For notes and disclaimer, please see part one.

Here's a couple things you might need to know or maybe you just forgot: Casey kisses Ellie in an attempt to distract her from the post-traumatic stress she clearly is suffering from. It was supposed to be an objective kind of a mission, but it quickly becomes something more for the both of them. Chuck learns about what's going on from Sarah. The kiss finally ends after Devon calls and arranges for them to meet back up. Alex successfully separates Casey from the group, to ask him what's going on. Chuck tries to do the same thing for Ellie.

* * *

Alex watched, her dolphin clutched under her arm, as Casey vacantly wandered further and further from the arcade. She could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to process. She wasn't sure if it was troubling, the fact that she was asking, or that the situation in general was what was throwing him for a loop, or what.

The silence, the waiting was the hardest part.

She'd come to really appreciate John before she knew who he really was. He always came into the cafe with a smile. He'd seemed like a protective father-figure and, having never really had one of those, she'd actually started looking forward to his coming in.

It's not that she never had a father-figure in her life before. Her mother had married when she was young, but her step-father seemed to think of her more as an afterthought. When John started coming by the restaurant, when he started asking how she was, how her life was, if she was okay... she'd gravitated towards that.

She'd never imagined that he was _actually_ her father. Or that he was really a Marine, an NSA guy... a guy who kept an awful lot of money hidden in his locker at the Buy More.

"John...?"

He glanced at her.

"This is serious, isn't it?"

He nodded. He decided he might as well talk to someone. She was far enough removed from the situation that she might have a different perspective. "I kissed her." He hadn't expected the blossoming smile to grace his daughter's face.

"Yeah? Did she kiss you back?"

"If her phone hadn't rung, we might be still," he admitted quietly.

"John!" she squealed lightly. "That's fantastic!"

"It's... confusing. It's troubling. It's a lot of things, but I'm not sure fantastic is the word I'd use to describe it first."

"Of course it's fantastic. Why wouldn't it be fantastic? You like her, she likes you..."

"We covered this detail already, Alex. She's married to Devon."

"I don't know either of them very well, but... If it was just you looking at her that way, that might be a little sketchy. Did you see the way she looked at you when you offered to ride the roller coaster with you? It was like... awe and amazement. And, apparently, you don't smile much for anybody else. You've got Morgan scared to death of you. Sarah's not really sure you have emotions. But, I know different. And I'd bet good money that she does, too."

Casey looked at her. She was making sense, but he couldn't feel those things about Ellie. About someone who was married. "I had my chance," he said. "I had my chance with your mother, and I let it slip away. I could've been happily married and had a family. I could've been there when you were born. I could've been there when you took your first steps, when you said your first words..."

"You don't get just one shot, Dad. This is America, land of opportunity. Opportunity you've helped to protect and defend. You don't get one chance and then it's gone forever. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm trying to have a relationship with you. Just because you made a decision twenty years ago doesn't mean you can't make another one now." She could tell she'd lost him somewhere along the way. "What...?"

"You... you called me Dad," he said quietly.

She was giving this diatribe about choices and opportunities, and that was the only word he'd heard? But, she had to pause and rewind, too. Because she hadn't called him that, had she? He'd always been John to her, since the first time he wandered into the restaurant, since he'd thrown her over his shoulder and carried her to safety, since they'd shared dinner and their first awkward hug. But, she had. It had slipped out. "I guess so. That's... that's my point, though. That's why you should go after what makes you happy. You can still be a Marine, you can still be a tough guy... Being those things and happy aren't mutually exclusive."

"I'm not going to go after my happiness to the detriment of someone else's."

"Which is why you haven't said anything to Mom...?"

He nodded.

"That's understandable."

"Then, why are you pushing me towards Ellie?"

"Because Mom's happy where she is now. Ellie isn't."

Casey hesitated. "You don't know that."

"Happily married women don't play tonsil hockey with their neighbors."

He cleared his throat. "That was my fault anyway. I... I kissed her first. I was trying... I was trying to help her."

That goofy grin returned to Alex's face. "I'm sure it worked."

"She..." He stopped, retreating to try something else. "Do you know why we're here today? At the park?"

"Because Morgan called and said we were all going to go?"

"Because Ellie organized it. Because she was desperate to grab onto some happiness somewhere. Because she's not dealing with the death of her father very well, or the fact that we lied to her, or the fact that she allowed a double-agent to convince her of things that weren't true."

"Dad! Hello! She's after happiness! She's after _you_."

"Alex," he said, sighing heavily.

"Trust me. I'm a girl. I know these things."

He wanted to believe her but he wasn't one to get his hopes up. "Just... do me a favor? Don't tell anyone else?"

The innocence and happiness faded from her face.

"What?"

"I might've already mentioned something about it to Morgan. And Sarah might've figured out that I was keeping something secret and, well, being a spy, she had to know..."

He winced.

* * *

Devon glanced over when Ellie joined him. "Hey, babe," he said before making yet another basket.

"Hey," she managed.

He could tell there was something off about her voice. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but he still had another fifteen seconds to make free throws. "What's up?"

She shook her head.

He sighed, missing one. "I know I didn't ride the roller coaster with you like you wanted, but... it's like why ride the mechanical bull when there's a live one three feet from it?"

She looked at him, really looked at him. Had he always been this way? Had it always been adrenaline over everything else? "Just because it's not life-or-death intense, it doesn't make it bad."

"Doesn't make it awesome, though, does it, babe?"

_Awesome_. Devon's life revolved around that word. Her life was anything but awesome at the moment. She'd lost her father, something she felt increasingly responsible for. She was no longer just a civilian. She knew the truth, well, as much truth as possible, about her brother, about Sarah and Casey. She knew that she'd been lied to. Did he even realize that there was something less than awesome going on in her life?

He made three more shots, sinking all of them easily before the time was up, before he turned to her with a grin. It faded almost instantly when he saw the look of inner conflict and torment on her face. "Honey?"

"I kissed John."

He blinked. "What?"

"I kissed John Casey."

It was the most surreal thing he'd ever experienced, surrounded by flashing lights and upbeat music, hearing his wife admit to something that couldn't possibly be true. "Very funny, babe..." Except, it wasn't humorous at all.

And it wasn't a lie either. "In the parking lot, right before you called about dinner."

He glanced around, spotting Chuck and Morgan battling it out on a machine, Sarah standing back, watching. He wasn't sure where Casey or Alex were. There was no way, though. There was no way that was the truth.

She hadn't meant to drop the bombshell on him like this, but it was a heavy burden, one she couldn't juggle, not with how she was feeling about everything else.

"Why?" he asked dumbly. "Why would you do something like that?" Those feelings and emotions he'd had, when he thought Ellie was cheating on him, shortly before Stephen had died, all came rushing back. How was it even possible?

"Because I'm falling. Because I'm falling and I'm lost and I'm hurting. And because he was there to catch me."

"Because... because he rode the roller coaster with you?" he asked, struggling to remain calm.

"No," she said, shaking her head. Well, that had alerted her that there was definitely _something_ there, but it was more than that. "Because he knows what I'm going through. Because no matter what I tell you about it... you just don't get it."

"Try me," he said. "Try me again."

"I gave up everything for Chuck. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"I've given up stuff for you..."

"Devon, I gave up _everything_ for Chuck," she repeated. "Not a night out with your frat brothers so we could have a nice dinner. Everything. I struggled, I put him first, above me, above everything I wanted, above everything I needed."

"Babe, that's..." He didn't understand. He'd never been forced into a position like that, but what did it have to do with what was going on now? What did that have to do with the fact that _she_ had _kissed_ someone else?

"I'm sorry, Devon."

"I just... I can't wrap my brain around this, El. What... what's going on in your head that it's okay to kiss him? Because you missed out on something when you were a kid, when you were giving up everything for Chuck? That doesn't even remotely make sense..."

"No, that's not..." She shook her head. "That's not what I meant at all."

"Then, _explain_ it to me!"

* * *

Chuck glanced up from the game when he heard Devon's voice carry above all the other sounds. "Oh, this is not good, is it?" Sarah had already taken the first step towards them, but Chuck stopped her. "My family," he reminded her gently. "I'll take care of it."

"Devon, it's... I..."

He could see his sister was struggling as his Chuck Taylored feet crossed the arcade floor. He put one hand on Ellie's shoulder, the other on Devon's arm. "How 'bout we take this outside, huh?"

"Hang on a sec, bro," Devon said, moving away from Chuck.

He could tell that his brother-in-law's blood pressure was up, that he was angry. "Whatever it is that's going on here, there are small children present. And it would probably be best to handle this somewhere else..."

"Maybe you should've told your sister not to confess to things like _that_ in a place like _this_," Devon sneered.

While it looked like Devon had planted his feet and was going to be there for the duration, Chuck was fairly certain Ellie could've been bowled over with a good gust of wind. He focused all his energies on getting her out of the arcade as quickly as possible. "Excuse us for a minute, Devon," Chuck said as he was already halfway to the door. "Ellie? What's going on? What happened? What'd you say?"

"The truth..."

"Which was what exactly?" Chuck said, casting a cautious glance back at the doctor, who still looked ready to blow.

She didn't say, not until he'd hustled her out the door and into the cooling night air. "I..." She looked at Chuck. "I kissed John," she managed quietly.

If Devon wanted help killing John Casey, he might lend a hand. "Ellie..."

"Don't," she said.

"What?"

"You're not allowed to be disappointed in me at this," she said, shaking her head. She knew he was; she'd heard it so clearly in his voice, even in the two words he'd said to her. "This... I didn't mean for this to happen, but it happened."

"Just... I mean, was it your doing or was it his doing? Because if it was _his_ doing..."

"You'll do what?" she challenged. "Beat him up? Haven't we had enough of this already? Enough secrets being kept, enough lies we tell each other just to get through the day without someone dying. It doesn't work because-"

"If Casey did something to you, though, if he's the cause of this pain-"

"He's _not_ the cause, Chuck-"

"Then-"

"Our father _died_!"

"I'm..." Chuck swallowed hard, mentally counting to three before speaking again. Calmer this time. "I'm well aware of that. But what I'm not fully understanding is why you would... why you would kiss Casey. And, by the look of things, it doesn't look like Devon is getting it either."

"What aren't you following? The fact that I kissed someone? The fact that I kissed John? Or the fact that there are still these secrets and lies, these layers of... of cloak and dagger espionage... that are still here. Like cobwebs, like layers of dust. Every time I think I've cleared them all away, it's not true! It keeps coming back!"

"Okay, well, let's... I thought we had a deal, where you weren't going to do anything rash until we'd had a chance to discuss it first."

"How is telling the truth _rash_?" she demanded.

"That's not," Chuck said. "Kissing Casey? That most definitely _is_."

Ellie flashed back to the kiss. She couldn't help but remember what it felt like, how she hadn't wanted it to end, how she wouldn't have minded doing that again sometime. Her heart began to pound in her chest, she began to feel those tingling sensations and Casey wasn't even there to start them.

Chuck realized, watching his sister, that there was _something_ between her and Casey, that Sarah had been right. He never would've imagined it to be possible.

Granted, he knew Ellie and Devon's history. It hadn't started out innocently. It had started out completely physically. It had been a fling, a dalliance, a youthful rite of passage. She might've been flighty for five minutes then, but she wasn't now. She wasn't someone who would throw away everything on a whim, on a wink from a hot guy, on a whispered compliment from a stranger.

And then there was Casey. Casey who was an honorable man, a Marine. He was a good guy who excelled in many things. One thing he had a tendency to fail at, though, was interpersonal relationships, was romantic entanglements. He'd had to practically kidnap him to get him to try to go after Ilsa Trinchina, who Chuck had thought, at the time, was the big guy's first love.

Little did he know that Casey'd been engaged and had left behind a daughter. Casey hadn't known it either. It had made cutting ties easier then but he knew the guilt was crushing now.

And then there was Devon. He really was awesome at everything he tried. While it occasionally drove him nuts, he had to hand it to the adventure-sports cardiologist. When you had that much talent, you might as well put it all to good use.

"Ellie, I..." Chuck drifted off, watching as Casey and Alex came back into view. He sighed heavily, noting well that there was no way that Casey and Alex would just pass them by.

Alex saw that Chuck's expression darkened. She whispered to her father: "Think the cat's out of the bag..."

Casey sighed slowly. "Why don't you go find Morgan?" he suggested. He didn't wait to see if she listened to him. Instead, he crossed directly towards them. "Bartowski... Ellie."

Hearing Casey's voice, Ellie eased. It was the strangest thing to Chuck, watching as all the tension left her body. She was no longer rigidly standing there. She looked more normal, more real. Chuck couldn't help but wonder if that was a new development or if it had been like that for a while. As he struggled to remember back, he couldn't tell for sure. One thing was certain: there was _something_.

"Casey," Chuck said slowly.

"What's going on?" Casey asked.

"I was trying to figure that out when you came over," Chuck admitted. "You want to fill in some details? Ellie, here, revealed something that... I don't think any of us saw coming. _Ever_."

Alex wanted to say that wasn't true, but she chose not to jump into the conversation.

"I didn't mean for it to happen like this," Casey said.

Chuck frowned. "Like this?" he repeated. "So you expected it to happen at some point?"

Ellie sighed heavily. "Chuck..."

"No, Ellie," Chuck said, looking at Casey. "Did you intend for this to happen? Did you intend to try to do _something_ with my sister?"

"I didn't mean for anything to happen at any point in time," Casey corrected through clenched teeth.

"But something happened. Something happened that I really didn't... I really didn't think you'd do, _big guy_," he said, using the term of endearment almost condescendingly. "I know I tried to encourage you to go after Ilsa, but that was before she was married. There's... I figured you were too honorable to do something like that _after the fact-_"

Casey glanced around. There were too many civilians. Too many potential targets. Too many _little ears_. "You want to have this conversation? Let's have it somewhere safer than an open amusement park."

All four glanced over at the arcade when Devon blustered out into the night. Morgan and Sarah were both on his heels. "Oh, great," Devon said. "The gang's all here."

Casey watched as Devon's anger clearly flared again. They'd fought before. He knew exactly what the doctor was capable of. The former UCLA football tight end had some stamina, some moves that weren't too bad. The first battle had ended because of a lucky break. The second battle... it wasn't so much a battle as a tackle. And Casey had been more concerned about getting the bad guy and not getting caught that he hadn't seen what was rushing at him across the crowded dance floor until it was too late and his cover was blown.

While he didn't want it to result in physical violence, Casey was certain he could subdue Devon if the need arose.

Sarah took a quick survey of the situation. Alex stood farthest back from the group, clutching a stuffed animal tightly. Casey was on high alert, standing a respectful distance from Ellie. Chuck and Devon were both confused and angry. Morgan wasn't sure what to think.

Ellie... Ellie looked lost. Ellie looked like she was holding onto sanity by a frail thread and any potential outbursts from the assembled group might do enough collateral damage to sever that weak bond.

"How about we go home?" Sarah asked.

"Home sounds good," Alex added. "John..."

Casey took a step backwards, towards his daughter, but his blue eyes remained trained on Devon's frame. Just in case.

"Morgan, you wanna ride with us?" Alex asked, reaching a hand out and placing her fingers lightly on Casey's shoulder.

"Uh... Yeah," he said, swallowing hard before crossing towards his new... sort of... kind of... maybe not... girlfriend.

Sarah spoke next. "Devon, it's okay if Chuck and I ride with you, right?"

Devon merely nodded.

Then there was Ellie. She didn't say who she was riding with. But she could feel Devon's penetrating eyes, boring into her, through her skin and bones, seeking out her very soul. It was a different kind of look from him, one she wasn't used to, one she didn't particularly care for. It was an unsettling feeling.

"Well?" Devon asked.

Ellie glanced between her brother and her husband. She didn't turn around and glance back at Casey. She was caught, like a bug pinned, like a deer in the headlights. She would've loved to have taken a cab or to just walk around for a while. Something that didn't involve having to make a decision between people who cared about her and who she cared about in return.

When she didn't answer right away, Devon made the choice for her. "Ride with Casey," he said, clearly agitated. He walked past the rest of the group, heading for the nearest exit. Chuck wasn't far behind. Sarah cast a sympathetic glance at her partner, and as she passed Ellie, she squeezed her hand briefly, before catching up.

Of the four left, no one said anything. No one moved, not for several minutes. Casey was more than happy to let the others get a head start going home. When he figured that it would be safe to head to the parking lot, he took the steps forward to meet Ellie. He placed his hand very gently, very hesitantly on her arm. "Let's go," he said quietly. As she looked up at him, he could see what Sarah'd noticed.

This definitely wasn't helping.

Casey guided Ellie towards the parking lot. Morgan and Alex wordlessly followed.

The hatchback was long since gone by the time they reached Casey's full-sized antique. Casey helped Ellie into the passenger seat before sliding behind the wheel. Alex and Morgan let themselves into the back.

Even the drive back to Echo Park is quiet and strained. Morgan kept looking back and forth between the two in the front seat, trying to figure out what had gone on, what had transpired, what everything meant.

Ten minutes into the drive, when Casey stopped at a traffic light, Ellie glanced over at him. Feeling eyes on her, he turned to look at her as well.

Morgan watched, amazed, at the look that passed between them. Casey normally personified strength, vigor. It was even evident in the Marine's eyes when he looked at Ellie. He hadn't realized how much Ellie needed shoring up until that night, until he'd seen her around Casey.

As the light turned green again and they started to pull through the intersection, Ellie cautiously reached out, finding Casey's hand on the seat between them, lacing her fingers through his.

Morgan realized he'd been wrong in his assessment of Ellie. While he'd kind of joked with Casey that the only person Ellie might go for outside of her marriage would be a long-time family friend, as in _himself_, he had obviously overlooked something. He'd overlooked the _something_ that was going on between the two in the front seats.

While Casey and Devon were, physically, very alike, they were very different otherwise. Devon was gregarious, a people person. Morgan wasn't entirely sure Casey had any social graces whatsoever. Devon was a goofball. Casey was insanely serious. Devon was a thrill-seeker on his off hours, enjoying base jumping and kite surfing. Casey's off hours seemed to consist of bonsai tree trims and the History Channel.

Devon did those adrenaline things with little to no training. Casey's adrenaline came through work, through being a Marine. Whereas Devon's adrenaline came by flying by the seat of his pants, Casey's came through precisely ordered operations, through mission prep planning that took all day to orchestrate the simplest of movements. Casey's adrenaline was safer, just by virtue of the fact that he was a government agent.

Ellie wouldn't have to worry as much about Casey at work as she would about Devon at play. And Casey's off hours spent being a homebody... that was what Ellie was. When she was done at the hospital, when she didn't have anything going on, she'd much rather be home. And if it were Casey she was coming home to, she wouldn't be home alone.

Morgan glanced at Alex. Why hadn't he noticed any of this before? Why hadn't he thought of any of this before? Why did it take Casey's daughter to point it out to him, when he should've been acutely aware of what was going on right under his nose? He prided himself on being observant, on being knowledgeable. How could he have missed this development?

How could he have missed this _something_?

* * *

Stay tuned...

Lines from the next installment:

The closer they got to her apartment, the slower he walked. "Do you want me to come in with you?"

She shook her head. "This is going to be bad enough as it is. I'm not sure your presence would help..."

He nodded but he was reluctant to let go of her hand. The protector in him wanted to scoop her up and carry her away, far away. Away from here, away from Devon. "If you need me..."

She glanced up at him.

"I'm never far."


	6. Chapter 6

For notes and disclaimer, please see part one.

Here's a couple things you might need to know or maybe you just forgot: Alex tries to convince Casey it's okay to be happy. Ellie confesses to Devon in the middle of the arcade that she kissed Casey, which leads to a potential stand-off in the park. Cooler heads sort of prevail, and they leave. Devon and Chuck and Sarah in one car, Casey, Ellie, Morgan and Alex in the other. It's silent in the Crown Victoria, but Morgan realizes that he was blind before because he can see now what Alex has been alluding to all afternoon.

* * *

It was completely different in Devon's silver hatchback. Sarah sat in the backseat, buckled in but still holding on. The doctor, who was normally an _awesome_ driver, was weaving in and out of traffic, cutting people off, unable to maintain his speed. She felt like she was being tossed around more in the back of his car than on any of the rides she'd ridden the entire afternoon at the amusement park.

Chuck wasn't doing so much better in the front seat. His fingers dug into the handle of the door. With the other hand, he held onto the seat. His main focus had been to try to calm his brother-in-law but, clearly, he wasn't succeeding yet.

"I just can't believe it, bro," Devon said, sliding back into the slow lane, making the car behind him slam on their breaks. "With _Casey_. Of all people! Casey's like... the complete antithesis of me. I mean... what was she thinking? He's a _killer_. Doesn't she get that? He's a killer. I'm a healer. You can't get more opposite than that. He's got _no_ people skills at all. Grunting? That's not communication. And if there's anything I know, I know that Ellie likes to actually _talk_ to people."

"Maybe it's just... Maybe it was just a fluke, an accident," Chuck tried.

"It sounded pretty _on purpose_ to me," Devon said, passing a semi-truck on the wrong side of the interstate.

Sarah tried to steel her stomach as the car zipped back into the fast lane in front of the truck and zoomed a good fifteen miles an hour over the limit.

"Look, Devon, Ellie... Ellie's having a really hard time. That's all. She's just confused. She's taking Dad's death really, really hard."

"I know, bro. I do know. Your dad... your dad was an awesome dude. He was. I mean, I didn't know him all that well or anything, but the few opportunities I had to talk with him, he seemed like a pretty put-together guy, y'know?"

Sarah knew that Chuck's father was more than just some "put-together" guy. He was brilliant and determined. He was motivated. But, he was also as bumbling as his son sometimes. While he didn't always take the right steps, he lived by his convictions, and she respected that.

"One of the last things your dad said to me before I married Ellie was to be a straight-arrow. Not to be like him, not to leave her."

"Sound advice," Chuck said, trying not to gasp when Devon crossed three lanes of traffic to make his exit.

"And then what's she do? She's left me! She's left me for _Casey_. What the _hell_?"

"I don't get it either, Devon, really," Chuck promised.

"I thought we were okay, me and Ellie. I thought were were fine. I mean... Well, obviously there was that moment where I wasn't sure, where I didn't think we were, where I thought maybe she was cheating on me, but Morgan put that thought in my head! Morgan, who... is he dating Casey's daughter?"

"I'm really not sure what to call their relationship. If they even have a relationship," Chuck admitted.

"Whatever. _Point is_," he stressed, "is that I let that bearded little troll tell me something that turned out not to be true. And where is he? He's with Casey. He's in Casey's camp."

"I really don't think that Morgan is the cause of _this_ particular... well, whatever it is," Chuck said.

"Casey, man. Hardass Casey. Unyielding Casey," lamented Devon.

Sarah's stomach seemed to ease slightly now that they weren't racing at ungodly speeds on the Interstate. Now that they were on a slower highway, his driving had improved greatly. Enough to where she didn't feel the urge to keep an eye out for oncoming traffic.

"_Buy More_ Casey," sighed Devon.

Sarah noticed the envelope sitting beside her and remembered seeing one in Casey's hands earlier. Glancing up at the men in the front seat, she slid the envelope into her lap and removed what was inside. While she wasn't able to see every single detail in the photos, there was one thing that was clearly visible, even in the passing streetlights. Casey had his arm around her. Ellie was snuggled close against him. She wasn't sure what _it_ was exactly, but she knew one thing for certain and that was that Alex had been right.

"I don't think she's... I mean, she didn't say she'd left you, did she? She just..."

"She told me she _kissed_ another man. Even when I had my... weird... bachelor party, I never actually kissed anybody. I've never kissed another woman, not since marrying Ellie."

"I..." Chuck sighed. "I'm sure it'll all make more sense when we get back to the apartment."

Devon sighed heavily. "Being divorced? That's not going to be awesome."

Chuck casually glanced in the rear view mirror, able to catch Sarah's eyes.

It was like Devon had already made the conclusion that there was no getting past the events of the evening. And there might not be, but it didn't sound like he was even considering another possibility. It was like he'd already written her off. And that was hard for Chuck to take.

Sarah reached up, placing a hand on Chuck's shoulder supportively.

* * *

When he pulled the Crown Victoria into its normal spot, it was clear that Devon was home. Casey glanced at Ellie, who didn't even seem to notice that they'd made it home. He took a slow breath before looking back at his daughter.

Without saying anything, Alex just smiled a little at him. "C'mon, Morgan," she said quietly, climbing out of the back with her dolphin still under her arm. Morgan wasn't far behind.

Casey eased out of the car, watching as Morgan and Alex headed directly for Chuck's apartment. He sighed a little, crossing to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for Ellie.

Only when her door open did she finally glance around. She spotted Casey standing there, holding his hand out to her. She smiled a little but it never reached her eyes. She placed her hand in his, allowing him to help her up.

"I'm sure you and Devon have a lot to talk about," he said, closing the door once she was clear of it and walking with her towards the center courtyard.

She nodded.

The closer they got to her apartment, the slower he walked. "Do you want me to come in with you?"

She shook her head. "This is going to be bad enough as it is. I'm not sure your presence would help..."

He nodded but he was reluctant to let go of her hand. The protector in him wanted to scoop her up and carry her away, far away. Away from here, away from Devon. "If you need me..."

She glanced up at him.

"I'm never far."

"Thanks, John," she murmured. She closed her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her forehead gently.

He listened as she took a ragged breath. It was the hardest thing to do, to walk away from her, but that was what she wanted, so that was what he did.

Ellie watched as headed across the courtyard. When he was unlocking his door, she took a slow, deep breath. When she heard Casey's door open and ultimately close again, she finally let herself into her house.

Devon, who had clearly been pacing in the living room, stopped, looking back at her. "How could you?" he asked, hurt. "How _dare_ you?"

Ellie opened her mouth to speak, but Devon continued his rant.

"I just don't get it, El. I thought I was giving you everything you could ever want, everything you could ever need..."

"Devon, I-"

"What did I do wrong, huh? It can't be that I was ignoring you, that I was _neglecting_ you..."

Ellie tuned out the rest of the rant. He wasn't interested in listening to anything she had to say, so what was the point in listening to him in return? It was clear he still didn't understand where she was coming from. More than that, it didn't sound like he was interested in hearing her explain it at all. The longer he yelled, the longer he ranted, the easier it became to let go.

That was part of her problem, she realized. The past several weeks, she felt so distraught, so lost. She wasn't sure what to hold onto and what to let go of. She tried desperately to hold onto everything. She was still holding onto her father, and there was no way she could ever have him back. She was trying to hold onto Chuck, probably too tightly, with her demands that he quit the CIA.

She couldn't do it anymore. That's why she'd told Devon almost immediately. There was just too much going on, too many mixed emotions, too many pains. Devon, who didn't understand pain, not really.

How could he understand losing a parent if he'd never done it before? How could he understand having his world turned upside down if it had never even been tipped slightly on its side?

How could he understand her when she couldn't understand him?

She wished she'd been so lucky growing up, to have both parents, still alive, still married, still awesome. She wished she'd had a big family, where everything was perfect. But, she'd never had that kind of life. She'd never really know what it was like.

"Are you even _listening_ to me?"

She looked up at him.

"Why won't you _answer_ me!"

When she spoke, she never raised her voice, she never yelled back. "I've tried to talk to you about what I was feeling before."

"And you said it didn't work," he said, rolling his eyes. "I said try me again! Talk to me again!"

She looked up at him. "My dad is gone, Devon. I watched him die. I watched _someone_ kill him. I can't describe to you what that's like. I can't tell you how much pain I'm in."

"But you can tell Casey?" he asked, anger flashing in his eyes.

She shook her head. "I can't tell him either."

"Then... then, why can you go to him, huh? Why can you _kiss_ him?"

"I'm sorry-"

"You're _sorry_?"

She didn't sigh. She didn't huff. She just closed her eyes as Devon started in on her again.

"You're just going to throw away everything we ever had? You're going to leave it all behind?"

"At this point, Devon," she said, "I don't know what we had or didn't, or what I am or what I'm not."

"You're Eleanor Fay Woodcomb! You're _my_ wife!"

"I'm a doctor, too," she said. "And Chuck's sister. I'm a neighbor and a friend. I'm a woman. And I'm Stephen J. Bartowski's _daughter_. And you're a doctor. A sports enthusiast. A frat brother and a football teammate. You aren't just _one_ anything either. But I... I'm confused."

"You're not the only one! Kissing _Casey_?"

She shook her head. "I'm confused about Chuck, about spies, about you... About everything."

"So, it was just... He confused you? That's why you kissed him?"

"No."

"Then... he was an ass and he forced you?"

Again, she shook her head.

"Then..."

"I don't know what to tell you about John. Other than he didn't force anything. And I didn't actively prevent it either. I should've, but I didn't. So if you want to be mad, be mad at me."

"I'm _beyond mad_ at the both of you!"

"It's not John's fault," she insisted.

"Then whose fault is it, Ellie? _Cupid's_?"

She shot a dark look at him.

* * *

Chuck paced between the kitchen and the living room. All Sarah could do was watch from the shadows of the hall. She'd tried to get him to sit half a dozen times, but he just wasn't interested in sitting still. He had too much nervous energy.

He did stop, however, when the front door opened and Morgan and Alex walked in.

"What _took_ you guys so long?" Chuck asked, pacing again.

"We came straight here," Morgan said.

Chuck sighed, looking at Sarah.

"Whatever happens," Sarah said, and not for the first time since they'd arrived home, "it's none of our business. Whatever happens, it's their decisions."

Chuck deflated.

Sarah looked at Alex. "Your dad..."

"Yeah?"

"Was he going in with Ellie?"

She shrugged. "They didn't really talk... and we left them at the car."

Sarah crossed to the door, moving out into the darkening night.

Chuck tried to stop her, but she was already outside.

Morgan looked at Chuck sympathetically.

Alex squeezed Morgan's arm. "I'm going to go with Sarah," she whispered before following the blonde.

Alex nearly walked into Sarah in the shadows. She knew better than to say anything, though, following Sarah's eyes to Ellie and Devon's door, where Ellie was squaring her shoulders to walk inside.

The lights came on across the courtyard at Casey's.

As soon as Devon and Ellie's door was closed again, Alex sprinted across the courtyard, knocking lightly on her father's door.

Casey yanked the door open quickly, hopeful. He tried not to look crestfallen when he saw his daughter and his partner there instead. "Hey..."

"We're coming in," Alex said, ducking under his arm and entering his apartment.

"Well... come in then," he said, opening the door wider. He just looked at Sarah as she entered. He had a feeling he was about to face his own inquisition.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked, looking up at him.

"You two want coffee?" he asked, dodging his daughter's question.

"Dad..."

He looked over at her.

Alex could tell he was trying to keep a stoic front. Why, she wasn't sure. "I'll make it," she said, putting the dolphin against his chest before heading into his kitchen.

He sighed a little, looking at the stuffed creature in his arms now.

"Casey, what's going on?"

"I made a judgment call," he said, setting the dolphin on his computer desk.

"A _judgment _call? Using what kind of judgment?"

"She's not handling this, Walker. At all."

"So, you kissed her?"

"So I... I tried to distract her."

"Not sure that was your best move ever..."

"Probably not," he admitted, letting out a low, trembling grunt.

She knew it wasn't aimed at her. She'd known him long enough to be able to tell the difference between outward anger and the inner kind. And that grunt was because of his own actions, his own choices. "She's not the only one not handling things well now, John," she said.

It was the use of his first name that caught his attention. He rarely used hers. She rarely used his. He looked over at her guiltily. "I didn't mean for _that_ to happen."

"I just... I never saw any of this coming. And, as your partner—as your _friend_," she corrected, "I want to be able to back you up. But I was just as blindsided by this as everyone else."

"I never thought it was really possible," he told her.

"But, you had thought about it?"

"I have eyes, Walker."

"I just... I guess I'm kind of shocked, too, because the only one who seemed to have a head's up about this at all was Alex," she said, lowering her voice and nodding towards his daughter.

Casey turned, watching as Alex set about filling three mugs with the strong, black liquid. "I didn't think it was that obvious, whatever I might've thought about Ellie before today."

"Before you acted on those thoughts?"

"Yeah," he said quietly.

She sighed heavily as Alex returned, carefully carrying all three mugs. She handed one to Sarah first, and then her father.

"Thanks," Casey said quietly.

Alex just nodded.

"What are you going to do?" Sarah asked.

"About what?"

Sometimes she really wondered what it was that _boys_ thought. Because, they really could be dense from time to time. "About _Ellie_."

He took a slow breath. "It's not my place to do anything. It wasn't really my place to do what I did today..."

Alex winced a little. That wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear that her father was going to fight for her, to go after her, to be happy. She thought she'd convinced him of that already. "But, what if she wants you back?"

Casey glanced at his daughter. "She knows where to find me."

"So, that's... that's it? That's your great plan?" Sarah asked.

"What do you want from me, Walker?" Casey asked, exhausted.

"How do you feel about her?"

Casey narrowed his eyes at her slightly. "Why?"

"Just... answer the question," Sarah pressed.

Casey took a moment, gathering his thoughts. He glanced at Alex, who looked up at him encouragingly. He glanced at Sarah, who looked up at him expectantly. "I feel like there's... _something_. And I know she can tell that there's... _something_."

"What do you mean by 'something?'" Sarah asked.

Casey decided to try a different approach. "You and Bartowski..." He could see the distrust forming in Sarah's eyes and knew he was close to losing her. "For the longest time, the two of you danced around each other. Right?"

She nodded slowly.

"Deep down, though, you were aware of feelings you had for him..."

Again, Sarah nodded.

"That's what I feel like with Ellie. I feel like... like we were friends."

Sarah knew well he didn't have many.

"In the past year, she's pulled away from that, though. And I didn't... I couldn't tell her I wasn't a drunkard, not after the made-up story Chuck and Devon told her..."

"What story?" Alex asked.

"It's not pleasant," he told his daughter.

"I still don't see how you went from kind of friends, to not friends at all, to... to this," she said, holding up the envelope Ellie had left in Devon's car.

Casey reached out, taking the photos from her. "After that story, after I found out about Kathleen and..." He looked at Alex. "And you..." He looked back at Sarah. "I thought maybe that was my fate. When I was fired..."

Alex gasped. "You were _fired_?"

"Another long story," he assured her. It was difficult enough to talk about his "lady-feelings" with his partner and his daughter, but the fact that he kept having to come back to his initial thoughts made it even harder. He closed his eyes, setting his jaw. "Bottom line? There is _something_ between us. Something I can't name. All I know is that I feel better when I'm around her. And she seems to feel better around me. It's not awkward. It's... it's right, Sarah."

She took a long, slow breath. "You don't have an easy road ahead of you."

He scoffed. "Never have."

She looked at him honestly. "No guarantees I can calm Chuck."

"Wouldn't ask you to. Don't want you getting involved in this any more than you have been already," Casey said, taking a sip of his coffee.

* * *

Devon shook his head. "The way I see it, Ellie, the only guilty people here... it's you and Casey."

"That's the way you see it, is it?" she asked.

"You kissed him. He kissed you. Doesn't matter."

"You lied to me, Chuck lied to me... doesn't matter, right?"

"Casey did, too, babe," he spat.

"I did something wrong, I come and tell you about it. Right after it happens." Tears flooded her eyes. "You do something wrong... I have to find out about it because there's a CIA agent who isn't really a CIA agent... or he is a CIA agent but he's not a _good_ CIA agent... and he tells me that my father's in trouble, and _I'm _the only one who can protect him. I have to find out about it, find out about the truth after my father _dies_! After _I'm_ partially responsible for his_ murder_! I'm _not_ the only guilty one here."

Devon blinked. "I was... We were trying to... We were trying to protect you."

"My heart is shattered, Devon. Do you understand that?"

He looked at her.

"Do you even know what it's like? To feel a kind of pain so deep you don't know where it starts or where it stops? To beg God for a do-over? Because this life, what you're living, it can't possibly be true... There has to be some magic wand, some reset button. Do you know what it's like when you realize that there isn't one? Do you have any idea the agony, knowing you did something you regret with every last fiber of your being, but there's nothing you can _ever_ do to set it right again?"

Slowly, Devon shook his head.

She dried her cheeks angrily. "_This_ is why I can't talk to you about this. Until you know that pain, until you realize... until you find yourself lost at sea, with no land in sight, with nothing and everything to hold onto... when the waves crash over your head... Until you know what I'm talking about, you'll never understand what I'm going through."

Devon glanced away from her, looking around their apartment. "What happens now?"

She shrugged.

* * *

Stay tuned...

Lines from the next installment:

"I mean, you still have Chuck."

She offered him a slight smile. "Yeah."

"It'll work out."

"What about you?"

He looked at her. "What about me?"

She bit her lower lip for a moment. "Will I still have you...?"


	7. Chapter 7

For notes and disclaimer, please see part one.

Here's a couple things you might need to know or maybe you just forgot: Devon drives erratically back to Echo Park, tossing Chuck and Sarah around. Casey promises not to be far, but Ellie decides to face Devon alone. Sarah and Alex go see Casey. Sarah's upset she wasn't given a head's up. Ellie lets Devon rant but they are at an impasse. Neither understands where the other is coming from.

* * *

Chuck didn't say anything. It bothered Morgan, seeing his long-time best friend so upset. It was like a cherry cheesecake kind of upset and he hadn't seen that in a very long time. "You wanna play a game?" he asked finally.

Chuck glanced at him but shook his head, continuing his trek through the kitchen, into the dining room and back again.

"Are you sure? Because blowing up things always makes me feel better."

Chuck hesitated, weighing his options. "Call of Duty?"

"You're on," Morgan said with a smile. He crossed to the television, turning it on as well as the Xbox. He tossed a wireless controller and a headset to Chuck, who caught both easily even though the headset hadn't been the best of throws. It was interesting to see the Intersect at work like that. It had been something particularly kickass to see in real-life, spy-like situations. Morgan wondered, idly, if Chuck missed it. The missions, the danger, the excitement. He hadn't said anything about it really. In fact, they'd pretty much ignored the topic all the way around.

Because, even if Chuck had promised Ellie he would stop working for the CIA, Morgan hadn't made the same deal. Morgan was still learning at the feet of the master. It was the best job he'd ever had. The only job he'd really cared for. He'd only become an expert at work avoidance at the Buy More because he'd hated it. The spy work, the training, the guns, the critical thinking... it was like living a video game. Like living Call of Duty. Only better.

He knew that if he'd had to give it up, he'd be miserable. And he wouldn't want to be reminded about it every five seconds. So, he didn't ask Chuck about it.

They played for a good ten minutes, only talking strategy to each other and smack to their online opponents when Chuck finally sighed. "I just... I just don't see how Ellie could do that. Even upset about Dad, even hurt about the lies..."

Morgan nodded, pondering how to respond for a solid minute and a half. "I know it's hard to see, buddy. But, in the car on the way over, there was something..." He paused, searching for the right words to describe _exactly_ what it was he'd seen. "I guess an energy between them? I'd never seen it before. Or, at least, I don't think I had. But, Alex saw it. Clear as day. Alex knew about it before I did, before Sarah, before you..."

"Casey..." Chuck had a hard time saying the man's name. It just seemed so improbable, Casey with his sister. "Y'know, I asked him to look after her."

"With what turned out to be the whole Justin-Shaw-Ring thing. I know."

"But, I never expected him to do this. To jeopardize Ellie's happiness like that."

Morgan glanced at Chuck.

"You said... you said Devon treats her like a queen, right?"

Morgan reluctantly nodded. "Well, yeah... But, maybe... Maybe she doesn't want that. I mean, pedestal living...?" He shrugged. "That has its drawbacks, too, bro."

Chuck fell silent, processing that.

He lowered his controller, turning to really see his best friend. "Think about it. Think about you and Jill for a minute. I know it's a touchy subject still, especially her trying to kill Sarah and all, but... You adored that woman. You worshiped the ground she walked on, right? Pined over her for years?"

"In my defense, at the time I was pretty sure she was the world's most perfect woman. Smart, beautiful, _and_ geeky? That's, like, the trifecta."

Morgan smiled a little, returning his attention to the game. "But, you treat Sarah differently."

Chuck glanced at him.

"Ooh. Bogie on your six, bro."

Chuck's character onscreen spun and destroyed the player trying to sneak up on him.

"Just sayin', she's an equal. You've got her back, she's got yours, right? It's a real mutual admiration society kinda thing."

"I'm not sure how this deals with Ellie..."

Morgan shrugged. "I'm saying that maybe Devon needs to spend less time doing what he _thinks_ she wants him to do and more time _finding out_ what she needs."

* * *

Ellie sat on the couch, staring off into space. She'd felt a for a while that her life was spiraling out of control but, as she sat there, she felt like the room wasn't spinning quite as fast as it had been before. She felt less dizzy, less sick to her stomach. Maybe she'd finally taken control of her life enough to get _off _the ride, once and for all.

Devon thundered down the stairs, a suitcase in hand. "I called Jason. He's going to let me crash there for the night."

Ellie nodded.

He crossed the floor but lingered at the front door, adjusting his grip on his suitcase. He tried not to grind his teeth, but it was hard to control that impulse. "I'm not sure if this is fixable at all..."

She looked up at him. "Neither am I."

He nodded a little. "Okay, then."

She watched as he left. He didn't say anything more, didn't beg or plead for mercy, for one more shot. He didn't ask for forgiveness or offer any in return. There was no bargaining whatsoever. She could tell he was furious, but as the door opened and ultimately closed again, she felt a great sense of release, of lessening pressure.

But, even in that emotion, it was troubling. She shouldn't have felt that way, should she? About the implosion of her marriage? She'd helped caused it. She'd kissed another man. She'd allowed it to happen and had even enjoyed the process of it.

The longer she sat there, the more she realized that she'd given Devon an easy out. It didn't have to be because of the secrets and lies from the spy world. It was something far simpler than that, it was something more basic. It was something that everyone had issues with, from the president on down. While the fault may have been more evenly spread, he could blame her. He could tell his friends, his family that it was her doing, that she'd managed to undo their wedding vows with one mistake, one slip.

She could imagine the looks on Honey and Woody's faces. The momentary horror followed by rolling eyes and shaking heads as they would remind Devon that they'd been leery of the Bartowski family from the beginning. She could imagine the whispers she'd have to endure at Westside. She was certain it would be all over the hospital, from admitting to x-ray, before she returned to work on Monday.

While it may have solved some problems-going after that _something_, telling Devon-it caused different ones to crop up in its wake.

She sank further back into the couch, closing her eyes.

* * *

Casey checked his watch. They'd gotten back home over three hours ago. While there may have been screaming, it hadn't carried across the courtyard. There hadn't been any outward evidence at all that anything had transpired across the courtyard. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad one. He wasn't the most experienced in relationships. He didn't have the base of knowledge to draw from. "It's almost eleven," he commented idly.

Alex glanced up. "Pretty sure I don't turn into a pumpkin at midnight. Or, is that a recessive gene I need to be aware of?"

Sarah cracked a grin.

Casey narrowed his eyes at his daughter, but it wasn't mean. It was just acknowledgment that she'd been clever. "Some of us have to get up early. Morning briefings can be at ungodly hours here because it's already a decent time in D.C."

Alex sighed a little. "Well, okay." She stood, stretching. "It was really nice to hang out, though."

"We'll have to do it again," Casey agreed.

Sarah got to her feet as well. It had been intriguing, to visit with Casey and his daughter. It was nice to see him as a father. While she'd been around him enough to know that there was more to the Marine than guts and guns, even she was surprised at how being a father had affected him.

Some of the rougher edges he'd had were softer now. Some of the rigidity was gone. He was even more human, more real. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that had to have been what had attracted Ellie.

She just hoped that Chuck would realize that at some point. Casey wasn't just a war machine, a grunting, growling hawk. She hoped that, once Chuck got past his own emotions troubling him about Stephen's death, that he could see Casey really was a good man.

As all three spilled into the courtyard, the door across the way opened.

Ellie's door.

All three stopped immediately.

Alex smiled a little as Ellie took a hesitant step into the courtyard.

Sarah placed a hand on Alex's shoulder. "C'mon. I'll take you home. Maybe Morgan'll come along for the ride, too."

Alex nodded but looked up at Casey. "G'night, Dad."

Casey pulled his eyes from Ellie long enough to look back at his daughter, offering her the smallest of _real_ smiles in return. "See you soon."

Alex beamed. She even waved slightly at Ellie, who returned the gesture.

* * *

"Dude! Did you _see_ that! That was like... the most 'leet of explosions _ever_!" Morgan cheered as he tossed both his arms straight in the air. He still held onto his controller in his right hand.

"I gotta hand it to you, bro, that was quite impressive. And, if the sound of the other players on here is any indication, a one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-replicated _event_," Chuck said, helping himself to another Twizzler from the open package on the coffee table.

The celebration was short-lived, however, as they heard the door open.

Both turned to see Alex and Sarah enter.

"We'll give them some time to clear out of the courtyard," Sarah commented quietly.

Alex nodded.

"Ladies. Hey," Morgan said, getting to his feet.

"Hey," Alex returned.

Chuck glanced up guiltily at Sarah, trying to eat the rest of the long red stem that was hanging out of his mouth. "Morgan bought them," he said, struggling to chew. "I told him this was a spy household, and that we needed good food only, but I guess now that I'm out, I figured one Twizzler would be okay..."

Sarah glanced at the coffee table, noticing that half the package was gone.

"Dude!" Morgan hissed. "Way to rat a guy out... Now I'm gonna never hear the end of it from _Beckman_, I'm sure of it!"

Sarah just shook her head.

Alex eased onto the arm of the couch.

Morgan glanced at her. "Everything okay with your dad?" he asked quietly.

She nodded.

"Anybody heard from Ellie or Devon?" Chuck asked. He tried to sound moderately disinterested, but he was fairly certain he'd failed.

"She'd just stepped into the courtyard when we did," Alex said casually.

"Maybe I should-"

Sarah placed a warm hand on Chuck's arm, cutting off her boyfriend's sentence. "It's okay."

Chuck glanced up at her, looking at her questioningly.

"Trust me," she murmured.

Slowly, reluctantly, he nodded. It wasn't that he didn't trust her. It was just that he wasn't dealing with the new issues any better than any of the rest of them.

Sarah squeezed his shoulder gently. "Pass me a Twizzler?"

He offered a hint of a smile, grabbing two new licorice ropes and handing one to her.

* * *

He couldn't help but notice that she looked worn out. Worn out was better than fragile, which she'd been earlier. It had looked like one solid bump might send her splintering into a million pieces. Not so much anymore.

She couldn't help but notice that he looked concerned. She knew he was worried about her. It had been those concerns that had gotten her into the mess in the first place. Running her fingers through her hair, she sighed softly.

He didn't ask if she was okay. He knew she wasn't. He didn't ask where Devon was. While he wasn't certain of the particulars, he knew the important part: that the cardiologist wasn't there.

She didn't ask how he was. For a guy who is supposed to be unreadable, his heart was on his sleeve. While she wasn't certain of the particulars, she knew that was a very un-spy like thing.

For the longest time, they just stared at each other. For the longest time, neither said a word.

The silence was a terrible breeding ground. Ellie found herself having thoughts about him again. About the strength that radiated off of him, about the dichotomy between being such a hardass and how tender he could be with her. About the kiss that her lips longed to experience again.

Casey couldn't help but think about how she needed a place to rest until her heart healed, until she knew what she wanted. While he may not turn out to be part of her _forever_, he could be a part of her _now_. He could provide that shelter, that protection until she got back on her feet.

"Devon left," she murmured.

"I figured."

"I'm not sure... I'm not sure what happens next."

He shrugged slightly. "Whatever happens, I'm sure you'll be okay."

She nodded a little.

"I mean, you still have Chuck."

She offered him a slight smile. "Yeah."

"It'll work out."

"What about you?"

He looked at her. "What about me?"

She bit her lower lip for a moment. "Will I still have you...?"

He crossed towards her slowly, making sure that his feet went, one after the other, erasing the distance between them. He wanted his answer to be perfect so he took his time, figuring out the words. Standing in front of her, he reached out, brushing her hair back from her face. He didn't think that the slight tremor in his hand was too obvious. He couldn't help it. His heart pounded and his mouth was trying to go dry.

She was back to feeling those mixed emotions. She was so glad he was near, but why wasn't he saying anything? Was that a no? Had she completely destroyed her world? And for what purpose? She closed her eyes, turning her head towards his fingers, desperate for the contact. She eased somewhat as he opened his hand, the warm hollow of his palm caressing her cheek, his fingertips easing into her hair.

His thumb grazed her soft skin. He felt her melt into his touch. With his other hand, he rested it lightly on her hip, pulling her closer.

Her hand drifted to his forearm, feeling the muscles beneath his skin as he continued to banish the space between them. Her heart beat a little faster, a little happier. If the answer was no, he wouldn't be doing that, would he? Her breath caught in her throat and she held it as his mouth found her ear. It just hovered there. She knew his lips had to be mere millimeters away from touching her. She closed her eyes.

"As long as you'll have me," he whispered.

She felt weightless, like she could fly. Instead of taking for the sky as she imagined she would, she all but collapsed against the strong, unmoving Marine. Maybe it wasn't weightlessness after all, but whatever it was, it was a _good_ feeling. It must've been that _something_.

He scooped her up into his arms easily. He wanted to commit the moment to memory. It didn't matter that he knew it was being captured on at least one, maybe two surveillance cameras. That wouldn't be the same, seeing it on flat black and white film.

The feel of one of her arms draped around his shoulders, her other hand flat on his chest. The anticipation in her eyes, like she'd finally found _hope_ after everything that had happened. The cooling summer air, the ambient sounds in the night, the soft glow the moonlight provided.

"What happens now?" she asked quietly.

"Now? Sleep. There's plenty of time in forever to do other things."

She nodded.

He took one step towards her apartment and felt her hold onto him tighter. "What?" he asked, perceptive to a sudden fear that gripped her.

"I don't want to be alone," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Casey looked at her before nodding. Changing paths, he took her back to his apartment, carrying her inside.

* * *

At two in the morning, Alex could barely keep her eyes open. She'd curled up in between Chuck and Morgan, holding her stuffed dolphin loosely in her arms, her head against Morgan's shoulder.

Even the hard-core gamers were getting tired.

Sarah pushed herself up to stand, unable to stop the yawn. "You want to come to bed, Chuck?"

He glanced over, seeing the soft, sleepy smile on her face. He couldn't help but offer her one of his trademark goofy half-grins back. "Yeah, all right."

"We're callin' it, buddy?" Morgan asked.

"Definitely," he said, removing his headset and placing his controller on the coffee table.

"All right," Morgan said, exiting out of the game. He didn't move too quickly. He didn't want to disturb Alex.

Chuck headed for the game console, turning it and the television off before following Sarah down the hall.

Morgan swallowed hard. He still remembered, vividly, the trouble he'd gotten into with Casey when the big guy had discovered he had Alex's phone number. He didn't want to even _think_ about what would happen if or, more likely, _when_ the over-protective "new" dad found out that Alex had fallen asleep on his couch.

It was innocent! Maybe if he could have Sarah and Chuck back him up, then it wouldn't be so bad when the truth inevitably tumbled out.

Inching so slowly, he slipped out from beneath her, cradling her head. He eased her down onto the couch, ensuring a pillow was under her head. He worked slowly, carefully, stretching her out so that she could sleep at least somewhat comfortably there. The final touch was sliding a blanket over top of her, tucking her in.

He stood back, watching as she snuggled deeper into the makeshift bed. He smiled to himself. While he wasn't sure what was going on between _them_ either, he liked it. "G'night, Alex," he whispered before disappearing further down the hall.

* * *

Casey woke when his head slipped off the hand that was propping it up and his chin touched his chest. Momentarily startled, his blue eyes cut through the bedroom to make sure there was nothing amiss. All of his belongings were where they should've been. The framed photo of Reagan still hung over his dresser. The black duffel bag still waited patiently for the next last-minute overseas mission on the chair by the door.

Nothing seemed out of place.

Except for the dull ache in his neck. He closed his eyes, grumbling as he attempted to rub the kink out of it. The pressure on the soreness made fireworks explode on the backs of his eyelids. The pain was worth the relief he knew it would bring eventually.

As he became more and more aware of his surroundings, he realized he was still dressed, still wearing the coffee-colored polo shirt and dark blue jeans. As he shifted slightly, he realized he still had his keys and cell phone in his pants pockets. Removing his hand from his neck, he emptied the contents, dropping the items onto his nightstand, next to his trusty SIG Sauer P229.

For a moment, he didn't remember why he'd fallen asleep fully dressed, sitting up in his own bed. That moment was quickly forgotten, however, when he felt movement in the bed beside him.

Ellie rolled over, turning towards him, fast asleep.

She was dressed in one of his tee shirts, her dark hair messy around her shoulders, splayed out on his pillow. She hadn't wanted to be alone and he hadn't been inclined to leave her.

Glancing at his alarm clock, it was just after two. He'd need to be up in another three hours, generously. He was rather fond of his sleep. While, from time to time, it seemed more optional than required, he enjoyed it thoroughly when he got the chance.

He eased out of bed, considering what to do. He'd slept on his recliner before. While it wasn't ideal, it wasn't bad. He'd slept in far worse places, on far harder things.

With silent footsteps, he crossed to his dresser. He licked his lips, trying to slide the second drawer open, the one with his pajamas. He winced when it made a noise louder than a whisper. Glancing back, Ellie twitched slightly.

He didn't want to risk waking her up. She needed her sleep more than he needed pajamas.

He considered going down to bunk somewhere in his living room but he couldn't help but flash on her face when he'd tried to tuck her into his bed a few hours ago. She'd looked up at him with those big hazel eyes, a mix of sadness and loneliness within them. After that look, he hadn't been able to leave her. The thought that she might wake up without him, that she might begin that downward spiral again...

He couldn't chance it.

With a slight sigh, he returned to the side of the bed he'd just vacated. He considered tugging off his polo shirt or shucking his jeans but he didn't. Instead, he just eased down beside her. This time, though, he didn't sit. He stretched out, laying on his side.

Carefully, he reached out, brushing her hair out of her face.

Her eyelids fluttered and he guessed that meant she was dreaming. He hoped she was dreaming of something happy, of something pleasant.

"John," she murmured.

He'd misread her waking for REM sleep. He kicked himself for that but only briefly. He let it go when she pulled the covers back slightly, easing them over his tall form.

"You're too far away," she said, opening her tired eyes to look at him.

He slid closer.

Ellie rested her head on his chest, tucking it right beneath his chin. Her long legs tangled with his. She inhaled deeply. She wasn't sure what his cologne was, but it was still delectable, even in the middle of the night.

She could feel his heartbeat under her cheek. She'd heard heartbeats hundreds of thousands of times at the hospital. She was a doctor, after all. That was what she did. But there was something different about this, about listening to his.

It was comforting, the strong, steady beat.

She couldn't prevent a contented sigh as he slipped his arms around her. One of his hands rested on her back, the other twirled the ends of her hair through his fingers.

He had fully expected himself to fall asleep nearly instantly with her against him. Except, he found he couldn't keep his eyes closed. They always popped back open, no matter what he tried. In his exhaustion, it was particularly frustrating.

But then he heard her breathing even out. He felt her fall asleep against him. That sensation filled his heart with unimaginable tranquility and he finally felt sleep tug at him. He never would've imagined his night would've ended quite like this but he was glad it did.

This was definitely _something_.

* * *

End.


End file.
